So much more to write about from the weekend than during the week. Yesterday was pretty much get up, go to work, go home, eat dinner, watch tv and go to bed. We all need those days just so we can let go of the anxiety created from the weekend. And all that is self-induced. I know that now because I spoke at length with Roberta last night.
Our conversation revolved around me and how I am handling myself with Coleen. She and I have had previous conversations before so I was really looking for some feedback from someone who can see the situation up close. She knows all the players so she has really good insight. Her view is that it's better if I just maintain some distance and let Coleen's situation with Mark play out. In her view they are coming to a point where is't been 2 years and if there is to be anything long term Mark needs to commit to Coleen and Roberta says that just looks unlikely. It's everything that I've been seeing since I got involved with Coleen. So it was reassuring that I haven't overstepped my limits.
So here is what we both see ... Coleen just turned 41 and has been divorced from her first husband about 5 years. Mark is almost 50 and his marriage ended badly. His first wife cheated on him and got pregnant. He has 3 grown childen with her. He has told Coleen he has no desire to have any more. Coleen wants to be a mom but doesn't feel she has to be. Like me she is looking at time tick by. So they have been in a committed relationship for 2 years so she has quite a bit of emotional energy wrapped up in this. She spends weekends and several nights a week there and probably cooks all the dinners. But as far as I know Mark has never taken her away on any of his trips and he takes several a year including a trip to the Bahamas just last month. Alls she really wants is a long weekend away and Mark absolutely refuses. Then there was a serious discussion she had with him about their future only last Saturday. He just stared at the tv.
I was wondering why she is suddenly pushing the issue. Could it be she sees me as a possibility and while she would prefer a future with Mark if that's not there she has thoughts of moving on because I can offer her the things Mark won't? This was why I wanted to see what Roberta thought. She said that may be exactly what's going on and the best thing for me to do is to be patient and just be myself.
As the weather warms I will get a better understanding of how much I am in Coleen's head. We will soon start going to different places and if she wants to be part of what I do she will need to make those choices. I only started going into the bar aftyer it got cold and now that it's Spring the tiki bar will be open, we can start using the boat again and soon it will be beach weather again. And she is already getting sick of sitting around with Mark staring at the tv.
There are my Tuesday thoughts. My goal just like last week is to try to stop thinking so obsessively and to stay focussed on keeping things real.