It's all good

It's been a week since I've last even looked at this. I was all worried last week over nothing. Just a little meltdown. No serious repercussions. My late night phone exchange ended up being something we laughed about. Since then I've been consumed with moving preparations and pushing my mortgage documents through. I am all approved and now must have a meeting with the co-op board, which I expect will just be a short hello and approval. Then I deal with the closing and all that money changing hands. And then I can actually move. My biggest concern is how this will effect my cat, Tigger. He gets to use the backyard where I am now and he likes going in and out several times a day. This is probably not possible in the new apartment. One of us will need to deal with that. We will see.

I've shut down the running in the hopes that my sore hip and leg get better. It's starting to look like it may be something I will have to get used to. I'm planning to run at the gym this weekend so we will see how that goes.

Not sure what the rest of my weekend will be. No one is making plans with me so I may be on my own. I have plenty to do.

Confused

What am I doing? I may have lost it last night. I woke up this morning and realized I had sent text messages to Lisa and Coleen at about 10:30. Neither one responded right away. But at 1:30 in the morning I was awakened by my cell phone getting a text message. It was from Coleen. My first impulse was to ignore it but I just couldn't. So I texted back and then even made a call. I got a short message back but didn't even realize I'd made the call until I looked at my phone log. What must I have been thinking. I'm sure she must think I'm way out there.

We had decided earlier to not go upstate to see her band friends. So I'm off the hook. My feeling was more disappointment than there should be. Now I feel like it's for the best. I have no clue what is going on in my head anymore.

Thoughts on a quiet Wednesday

Not having much fun today. I'm at work but I've been mostly looking at what needs to be done for my mortgage. I have my tax return ready to go out so I'm adding that to my paperwork. So as you can see it's not fun to read about and even less to do.

It's been a quiet week and I haven't really even spoken to anyone. I haven't been able to do anything at the gym either. It's such a change from the weekend that was so busy I could barely keep up. Part of me is glad to have the down time but life is creeping along at a snail's pace.

I made tentative plans with Coleen this Friday to take a trip upstate to see 38 Special. Last we spoke she was planning to go but if she backs out I wouldn't bee surprised and I may even feel like I'm off the hook if she does. She doesn't like me as much as I would know we would end up talking a lot while we drive. I have a feeling she will be trying to get more than just her and I to go which would be worse. What is really stupid is it was my idea. Never thinking she would even consider it.

So my mind has been drifting as to what may be the result of spending a lot of time with someone who obviously doesn't like me nearly as much as I seem to like her. Still, I have this fantasy reality of things suddenly becoming romantic because it'll be the right time and place. Or she will wake up and decide she doesn't want to even go.

Apparently Janet hooked up with Bunky last weekend. What's odd is I saw them as they were getting together on Friday night. At least that is the rumor. I spent Saturday afternoon with her and when I asked her what time she finally got home she said she wasn't sure. I guess now I know why she didn't say ... she never made it home. And who do you think tells me about this? None other than Coleen. Lucky I am way past caring for Janet that way. Thing is I kind of blew her off to go have dinner with Coleen on Saturday. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is having a better time than I am. I'm sure that will come back to haunt me.

I watched Julie and Julia on tv this week. It was interesting to see someone who wrote a blog that becomes so popular that the newspaper writes about it. As much as I would love that in my blog I just don't have the interesting reality that could ever get me that notoriety. There would need to more success and less obsess. It's probably just me ... paralyzed by my own fears.

Optimism abounds.

Lots of stuff going on this past weekend. Coleen has begun to reach out to me on a regular basis. It was a fun weekend and I feel good about things. I guess she was mostly just bored but I took advantage of the opportunity to spend Saturday evening out to dinner with her. I think she must had fun since she called me again on Sunday and had a drink. She seemed like she was being very flirty mostly with anyone else and not me. No sexual tension there. I still can't seem to make my mind look at her as a friend even though she insists that is all we can be.

Still waiting for mortgage to come through. Rates are still holding steady. No much point in getting worked up over it. I got a lot of things pushed out my door to the trash. Most of it never made it past the middle of the day as someone picked through it all and took anything electrical.

I'm feeling very optimistic right now. I find myself looking forward to each day.

Happenings

Yes - it's Friday and time for a new post. Friday has always been the most optimistic of days. All the prospects of the weekend and a better life are ahead and all the negativity of the working week can be put away. Even though my experiences tell me not to expect much I still look at the weekend as a chance to start something new and exciting.

I've been watching mortgage rates creeping up for the last 2 weeks ... ever since I started my process. Since i got my offer accepted on the co-op the rate went from the lowest point since to start of the year to the highest. It's not a huge uptick, but an uptick none-the-less. Probably about $40 more per month. The good news is the rate actually came down a bit yesterday so my anxiety it easing some what. Still waiting to hear that I have my approval document. It'll happen when it happens.

I got an interesting call from Coleen the other morning. She has a Tiffany lamp she says I can have. She says she has to get it back from Mark, the old boyfriend. I said sure but I would prefer to see it. I'm sure it isn't real Tiffany but I'm sure it's nice. I want more details but she can't really talk from work and she hasn't been available for the last couple of days. Again, it'll happen when it happens. I'm learning patience with all things.

So tonight I'll go hang out with friends and try to lose my stress. I'd like to get out and run some more but my legs have been really sore and I'm starting to think I need to back off it a bit. Right now my right knee seems to be inflamed as it hurts and is a little swollen. I think what happened was my hip got sore and I started to change the way I run and this has stressed my knee. It's probably from running on the street. It doesn't seem to bother me running ... just when I sit it gets real stiff.

Saturday I hope to start getting the boat ready for launch ... I have 4 or 5 weekends. Then I start the move in prep. It's going to be a busy month.

Happy Easter

I had the best Easter I can remember in a long time. I ran my race and finished way ahead of my goal. I saw Coleen - that's her in the picture - before I headed off to see the family at my sister's. I got to see Coleen a lot over the weekend but that came with the "we are just friends" talk so I'm just pleased, not overjoyed. It was good to see her though as you can see she doesn't get all fancy for Easter. We were talking via text back and forth and I wished I could have stayed with her. But she doesn't look to me for long term plans so everything has to be spontaneous. At least until I get tired of that. Friday night I was having a conversation with a mutual friend Dave and he mentioned about how Coleen has said in the past that there are no good men around. I asked if my name had ever come up to which he said he has asked her "What about Mike?" and he said her response was that she doesn't feel like that with me. While it's not something I didn't already know it was a bitter pill to swallow. She now gets lumped in with the other women who I've been obsessed with that I could never get past the friendship zone. Lisa, Janet, Jenny, Lee, Winnie, Eileen ... geez the list is endless.

I was supposed to stop in at Janet's house at some point on Easter but just headed home instead. It was already 8:30 so I figured I should call it a night. I knew if I called I would have gone so I didn't even do that. I probably should have since she asked me about it yesterday.

Things are proceeding according to plan with my application for a mortgage. I expect to have the approval letter by the end of the week and then I can set up my meeting with the co-op board. Once I complete that I can get a closing date. Meanwhile the rate keeps rising. I can't wait to get this done.

So my 3K race was great. I may have a picture soon as Lisa has them but hasn't uploaded them to me. She did great ... 34 minutes and change. I finished in just a shade under 37 minutes... nowhere near the front but well ahead of the goal of 40 minutes. We've been covering that distance regularly at the gym and even on the street, but it was exciting to run in a race where we had to beat a clock.

The rest of my week is progressing day by day ... there are no real plans except I will go to see the Mets play on Wednesday. Maybe take some pictures I can post.

Mortgage mortgage mortgage.

Still have mortgage stuff on my mind. Got an email late in the day from the mortgage company asking for 3 things. First they want a printed summary from the bank listing all transactions from March 17 through April 1. Then they want a copy of the check for retirement funds. Then finally they want proof of terms and conditions of withdrawal from 401K. Not sure what that last thing even is since I made the transaction online. I got the check in the mail today so I'm just going to call them in the morning and tell them I'll bring it in. Not sure what else I can do for these things. I guess I can call customer service at the bank for the other thing.

I will make every effort to finish this up so that by this time next week I'll have a completed mortgage process. Then I can move to get the board meeting set up with the next week. All this anxiety probably over nothing. I mean I have the money and I make more than enough and I have no outstanding debt so nothing is in the way. Just my own mental hangups.

Sunday is Easter and in the morning Lisa and I are going to run in a 5K race. I've been doing that in the gym so I am fairly sure I can make that run. Except I still run really slow so I am afraid I'll try to keep up with all the real runners and burn out in the first mile. My goal is to complete the race in under 40 minutes. Wish me luck.