Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Memorial Day Weekend

Memorial Day is over and I have the boat fully prepped. So I can finally say it's practically summer. I realize that it's not officially summer until June 21 but for me it's summer from Memorial Day until Labor Day.

My summer blast off started when I hosted my annual picnic on Saturday. That is also the day they have fireworks right near the park where my boat is kept. The weather could not have been better. The forecast was for possible rain late in the day. My hopes were for anything to happen after midnight. Turns out the rain never came at all.

My biggest issue was from work on Friday into Saturday. Under duress I was forced to support an implementation on Friday night. Very stressful and even though there were no problems I had to be awake from 3 a.m. until dawn. This left me with 3 hours of sleep for my picnic. I wasn't so much as tired as I was just grumpy. But I pushed on.

So my day was really good. Everyone had plenty to eat and drink. There are things I'd like to do different. Getting more sleep next year will be first on my list. I was more than a little disappointed that Lisa decided to skip the entire day. I feel like I don't even know her anymore.

The rest of my weekend went fine. I saw Coleen on Sunday. It was casual. I hadn't seen her in a while so it was good but still no changes. I saw her again on Memorial Day at Jami's party. I spent more time talking to Janet than Coleen. Obviously, I need to focus on other things. And I am doing that.

Not much more to the weekend. No excitement, but no drama either. Lots of good time with friends. I couldn't ask for a better weekend although it would be better if I could have the love I search for.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


Here I am. It's the holiday weekend and I want to make it all sound good. I've had much stress and confusion. My work is in chaos and the rest of my life isn't any different. Don't know how to do anything.

So I'm watching Hitch and I so wish it was real life. The movie make all things possible. It's done so well. Albert is so much the every man. The Q-tip... ha!. I'm staying home. So I'm wanting to say a lot but not so much.

My life lately has been more about Janet and I get such mixed messages right now I can't understand how I should feel. Janet is such an angel and I can't believe I get to be a part of her life. And she calls me and makes me feel as if I am as important to her as anyone.But at the same time i never ever get the romantic "I love you" vibe from her. Part of me is thinking she is just the kind of girl who wants to make her feelings like poker.God forbid anyone should see how she feels.
So the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend I had a picnic for as many of my friends and family as would come. Coleen blew me off but I had barely invited her. Lisa blew me off too. That bothered me more than it should have. I feel like I barely know Lisa anymore.
So today I got a surprise visit from Coleen and of course I felt really honored. I made the most of it. I had her helping me on the boat. We got some really good things done and it seemed like we were bonding. Meanwhile I had told Janet I would be seeing her ... casually of course. So i felt like i was playing off who would give me the most likely satisfaction. And it's really neither. So frustrating. I'm so stupid. What can i do?Ugh....

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A blog about nothing

I've been thinking I'm about done with this. I keep hoping that I can get some movement in my life. Seems like I can't get out of the room. No pictures worth posting. Can't even think of a good headline.

I'll get over it... just not yet.