Monday, November 26, 2007

Post Thanksgiving

Jamie, Janet and Roberta at Friday night leftover turkey feast.

I can't believe I've not made an entry for 2 weeks. Quite a bit going on too.

Lisa is enjoying her new apartment. I got to visit for dinner. I am number 2 in her life now as Carmine is now staying over most weekend nights. Lisa and I had dinner Saturday night but we were both wiped out by 9 o'clock so it ended pretty early. Sunday though she came to my boat and assisted me getting the boat ready for it's winter hibernation. With her halp I can feel pretty safe that the boat will be fine for the winter.

After we finished doing that it was such a nice afternoon we decided to go to have a drink at the Soundview. We were joined by Roberta. Lisa had always felt a distance from Roberta so it was a good chance for them to connect without all the others getting involved. They both called me later and told me how much they liked the day.

And what am I doing during all this? Trying to strike up a good conversation with Sue (Bubbles). I made the mistake of confessing to Roberta how attractive I think she is so now she thinks I should be getting a phone number and calling her. The thing is I don't get a vibe from her that she even knows who I am. Another story for another day.

This is Sue

So I spoke to Lisa this morning who told me that she had Carmine over last night. After spending the afternoon with me she had more company. I mustn't let it botherr me but it kind of does. Jealousy rears it's ugly head. Maybe I bring that on to myself. I had actually been trying to no connect with Lisa and I had been doing a good job for about 2 weeks. Really just that one visit. I keep telling myself that she needs to get away from me as much as I need to get away from her.  

On Friday Jamie, Roberta, Judy, Chris and I had dinner at Janet's She made a great dinner from thanksgiving leftovers. We purposely left Mike-PC out. He has been over pursuing Roberta to the point where she feels stalked. He mentioned at Thanksgiving that he made a wrong turn on the way and drove by Roberta's house even though Roberta was with her family.He obviously didn't really make a wrong turn... just wanted to see where she lives since it's a good 5 blocks away. So after hearing that she said he just can't be a part of our dinner, which I knew anyway. I am so tired of talking about him and his freakish fetish with Roberta.

I also realized that Jamie seems to be more attracted to me that I want. Roberta hinted to me about that and I'm just hoping it doesn't turn into any more. It's kind of nice to know I could still have someone attracted to me but why does it end up being the last person I want. Maybe I'll have more on this at a later date.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Jay Black concert

Saturday night I went to see Jay Black (Jay and the Americans). I took Roberta who was the perfect one to go with, she was boppin' with me for every song. The picture was taken at dinner earlier in the evening.

It was kind of a Roberta weekend. Friday night we went out to dinner at the twice a year wine tasting event that is at local area restaurnts. This one was at one of our regular hangouts... The Soundview. We go there so often we've been calling it "the Club" because it's situated on a public golf course. While we often go there for drinks we rarely ever eat there. So the wine tasting was a nice treat.

I had asked Roberta to go to the concert earlier in the week so I already knew we would be going but I hesitated to call it a "date" since Roberta always wants to insist on us being "just friends". It seems I'm using a lot of quotes today. So as soon as we sat down at the table with Jamie and PC Mike she immediately brought up how much she was looking forward to our first date. One of the reasons I didn't really think I should say too much is theat PC Mike has had a huge crush on Roberta and I knew he would get all twisted out of shape, which even though he tried to hide it, he did.

And it also seemed like Roberta wanted to rub his nose in it. This was because he gave her some business about how she needs to more mature. He really wants her to be his girlfriend and his ego really isn't handling the rejection so great. That's really his problem, not mine.

I am really in the same boat as PC Mike since I like Roberta a lot too. The big difference is I don't really see her liking me that way so as always I just go with the flow. In that way I sort of envy Mike that he puts it right on the line. The thing is though that he can't ever let it go.

What's really making it tough is Roberta is really fun to be with. We had such a great time. Friday niight I probably had more wine than I should have, but in a fun way. I guess I was flirting with Roberta too. She's so different that Janet that way. I jsut love to be near her and I feel like she likes me to be attentive to her. Just only in a plantonic way. If we are out in a crowd we always need to find each other. It's like we just need that spark to light the flame and we just can't. It's very similar to how it is with Lisa a lot of the time.

So Saturday I went to pick Roberta up at her house ... like a real date. I half expected her to want to meet me somewhere so she could avoid that awkward moment at her door. So it was a great surprise to have to go to her house before and pick her up. To be honest it's been quite some time since I did that. In fact, the whole evening felt like something I hadn't done in a really long time. We shared dinner and made it to the concert in plenty of time. We shared some wine and sang and clapped for all the songs we knew. I could tell she was having a great time and so was I.

The concert was over 3 hours but it felt like it was less than an hour. I was a little sad to have to end the night. But it was close to midnight when we got back near Roberta's house and she wasn't really interested in going out for a nightcap. She did ask me if I was okay to drive home... which I countered with "are you inviting me in?" She just said  "that's not happening" ... which I knew. So I pulled into her drive way and got the usual peck of a kiss and she was gone in a flash. I left happy even if the date didn't have a "happy ending". Yes... once more with the quotes.

I doesn't look like I'll ever really feel that closeness that comes from a sexual relationship but it is nice to know I can go out on a date with some one and have a good time. I hope I never lose that.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

A Day In The Life

Spent my day listening to Beatle songs. I always can't stop myself from singing along. It was a good day.

Last night I called Roberta who didn't answer. This morning I got an email from her explaining how she had to work late and wasn't up to making any phone calls. So we exchanged a series of emails. The long and short of it is I asked her to join me for the Jay Black concert. She said yes. So we will be having dinner at the wine tasting on Friday and then dinner and a concert on Saturday. Let's hope I don't end up regretting it.

Roberta also told me she had a very ugly exchange with Mike (PC) on Saturday. Seems he had lunch with Janet but really wanted to see Roberta. Then he called her after to chastise her about how she needs to get her priorities in order. I'm not sure if he really needs to be calling her out like that. So she is really mad about it. He will also be at the wine tasting so it will be interesting to see how he handles himself in her presence. He already has me annoyed about what he said to Lisa. He's on a pretty short leash with me right now.  

Monday, November 5, 2007

It's just me and Tigger again

No picture today. Spent much of the weekend helping Lisa move to Northport. It's amazing how quickly you get used to sharing your space with someone. Part of me is glad to have my place all to myself again but it was so nice having someone great to talk to. I'll miss having her so close to me.

Now that she is in her own place I get a sense that she will start seeing Carmine more and more. As far as I could tell he was there the entire weekend. I don't think I'll be going there as much if they are constantly together. It makes me feel real odd. Very much the fifth wheel. It also is how it should be. That little voice in my head keeps saying it's time to let it go. Lisa and Carmine are a couple and I'm just a friend. I wish I could find a reason to not like Carmine but he is the first guy in Lisa's life who is in love with her. It's hard not to respect that but I do feel a little left out. On the other hand Carmine is so quiet and laidback I'll be curious to see if Lisa really stays the distance. I wonder what they talk about.

So now I get to find out what's next. Last Saturday I joined Janet and Mike for dinner. Hated it. Janet was not interested in anything I had to say. Neither was Mike. Most of the night I felt invisable. I even said something but it just went right past them. Next week I am going to a wine tasting on Friday and a concert on Saturday. I think I'm going with Roberta although that's not definate. I will make sure by Thursday.

Meanwhile it's Monday of a very quiet week. There won't be much for me to add to this but I'll try to come up with something.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

No entry yesterday

Meet The Beatles! cover

Yes - Meet the Beatles. The american album. And not the CD either. I still have a vinyl copy and a turntable. Hearing "I Want To Hold You Hand" as the first song. Which is how it should aways be.

Last night I shared a bottle of wine with Lisa. Then we had some vodka tonics. Makes me realize how bad we really are for each other. I'd probably dead or in detox in a year if we lived together. Her too. I wake up this morning ... seperate rooms again... and in the bathroom I see aspirin spilled on the floor. Lisa trying to cure a hangover at 3 a.m. At least I was asleep by 10.

I also had the craziest dream last night. I was playing softball and was in leftfield. Mike Grittani and Rich Tanner were playing too. I kept misplaying the ball then not being able to throw it. Guys running around the bases and me not being able to make a play. Woke up very frustrated. I guess it's better than the panic attacks I was getting a year ago.