Lisa went away to Arizona until Saturday. I am going to her house to feed her cats twice a day until she comes back. It means getting up early and getting home from work late. I think I see her cats now more than I see her. It's a trade off since she has always been there to feed my guys.
No emails from Janet this week. I have the urge to send her something but I don't really have much to say. I've pretty much decided that I won't see her until New Years but if she reaches out to me of course I'll probably be there - where ever that might be.
Before Lisa left we had a discussion about how my relationship with Janet is evolving. She said it sounds very much like the same kind of friendship the I have with her... like it's a pattern repeating itself. That's something I already knew. I keep thinking back to Carolyn and how she was so up front sexually and how I felt all I needed to do was create the right time and place to get her. And I still might but I think my life is better off not getting involved with someone who is still part of a marriage even if she insists she is leaving.
One of the things that bothers me most is how I never been able to make someone fall in love with me. They either love me or they don't. I also am thinking that after knowing Janet for more than 2 years the only way I can change the dynamics of what we have will need to be talked about and not just suddenly appear. So I have been thinking how to have that kind of conversation without seeming too desperate. I'll let you know how that turns out.