Monday, June 30, 2008

What to expect

Wednesday is July 2nd. That might seem like just a regular day but I've been looking at that day with both dread and excitement for over 2 months. As it draws closer it becomes more apparent that it may have a bigger impact all the time.

July 2nd is the 2 year anniversary of Coleen and Mark's first date. Coleen has been saying that she feels that if she isn't a bigger part of his life that she needs a better future and will end it if there isn't an engagement or something along those lines. She has made this statement to most of her friends. This past weekend they didn't even speak and she and I spent almost all my free time together. I couldn't figure out how to handle this. I am still not convinced she is really wanting to break things off. So even though she has sort of drawn this line in the sand my guess is they have a talk and she will cave in to whatever situation Mark gives her.  

But let's just say she and Mark are going to be over by July Fourth. It's not as if she will suddenly become more romantic toward me. In fact I'm afraid the opposite will happen. We will become closer as friends but I won't be able to take that leap into anything more. It's actually been easy to get close to her before because I've always been able rely on the fact that she has a boyfriend so there is no pressure for me to make something happen.

Two weeks ago Jami had a talk with Coleen about me and how I am going to be a problem at some point. While I don't believe I could ever get to where she would be afraid to talk to me, Jami may actually give me a good place to start a discussion of how I really feel about her and I. Of course, all this needs for Coleen and Mark to be over first. So I just wait and watch and hope.

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