My last four days were almost as good as any I can remember in years. I had some moments I may never forget. But I'm also still alone and confused as to how to change that or even if I should. Again it is all about Coleen.
I'll start by going back to last Thursday. That has been my night to invite friends down to the dock for wine and cheese. But this time it seems like no one wants to go. Only Janet said she could go and then only if I could pick her up. I had called Coleen but she was too busy and when I did hear from her she had already planned to make dinner with the BF. Oh well, I picked up Janet and we sipped on some wine. Dave from the boat next to mine was also there.
Right around sunset I saw Coleen's car pull into the parking lot. She came down the ramp wearing a long black skirt that I'd guessed she had worn to work that day. She looked good but I told her she didn't look very nautical. Still I got to see how nice her legs looked. She was upset with Mark, the BF, and I was glad she came down but not really interested in finding out what the fight was. It was fortunate that Janet was there and could ask her all about what she thought her future would be with Mark. I was down below putting things away when Janet asked her if she planned on sticking it out with Mark. And she said yes for now. Janet thinks she finds security in having him around and don't see any devotion on either side. But she is trying to make things work. Janet told me about this later. Coleen had gotten there so late that is was probably less than an hour before we shut it down. She drove Janet home since it was on the way. I was dying to know what they talked about in the car.
Friday night was the best night. Usually Friday Coleen only has a drink and then goes to meet Mark for dinner. But this week was different. I guess she was still upset from the night before and she considered herself free for the night. Janet again had given her car to her son so she walked into town. She asked if I could give her a ride when it was time to go home. We started at Gates before we went tothe Tiki bar. I saw
And she did. Saturday was better than Friday. She and I took the boat out in 90+ heat. But the water is still really really cold. But I had to go in. I jumped in and wow was it a shock. I was in for just a few seconds. But it was so hot I had to go in again and this time Coleen followed. She really looked like she was enjoying the day as much as I was. But I keep waiting for her cell to ring and have Mark make a plan with her, but it never happened.
After being on the boat all day she went home to change and I said I'd be going to Gates to watch the Belmont. Coleen wasn't sure, obviously still holding out hope for Mark. But I walked into Gates and there she was wearing a summer dress and Mark no where to be seen. So I say hello to everyone and didn't even get a chance to talk to her for more than ten minutes.... because I need to keep reminding myself she has a boyfriend and it's still not me. After about an hour there we were again talking and shooting pool as if we were the only ones in the bar. Later we went out to get a bite to eat. I kept having this urge to talk about how I really feel about things, but I'm sure she knows. She was just killing time hoping for a call that never came. I said good-bye not sure of anything.
So Sunday I decided I could call Coleen around noon. I was surprised to find her grocery shopping for Mark. I had already committed to going to meet Roberta at the beach so when she said we could go sailing I had to say no. So I went to the beach and guess who followed me down there? Coleen showed up! And no bf. I am so confused. She told me her plans that night was to make a nice dinner for her and Mark. Ugh! What am I doing?
I go to work tomorrow and wait and see if I hear from her at some point during the week. She always finds a reason to call me or text me.