Wednesday, June 4, 2008

3 years since my first entry

Not sure if that shows how persistant I am or just sad that I really can't see what is so different. In the last three years I've dealt with losses and gains. With finding new people and letting some old ones go. I've had to come to terms with being over 50 and still single and unattached. It seems more and more like that is how it will remain.

I have been able to update more consistantly lately but find myself wanting to slacken off a bit. There is only so much I can do with out contantly repeating myself. I can't imagine who wants to read about what sounds the same to me day after day.

Saturday was rainy and cold. Since I didn't really have a plan for being home I went north to the boat and spent the day doing maintenance. Tthe main reason to go was because I told Coleen to stop down if she wanted and she said she might.  I actually got a lot done because she never showed up. So at 4:30 I told Janet I would meet her at Gates. I got there and saw usual cast of characters, but no Coleen or the bf. By 7 I was hungry and I didn't realize everyone else had eaten. So I figure I'd go home and eat rather than drop another $20 there.  

So I said my goodbyes and walked toward the exit. Just at I hit the sidewalk I got a buzz on my cell phone. It was a text from Coleen. She had gone out to dinner with Mark. I just said have fun and got in my car and started driving. Her next message said she was on her way to Gates... where I'd just left. The voice in my head was saying "go home" but you think I listen ... noooooo! I turn around and go back towards Gates. And of course I get the third degree about why I'm back. From Roberta of all people who knows exactly what is going on.

So I did eat something and dropped $20 and then maybe another $20 before I finally ended the night. I did get to see Coleen. She had gotten her hair done and because the night had turned so humid it was very curly. She looked like Rosanne Rosannadanna. I didn't tell her that though. When I left she was still there with her bf but she did give me a nice goodbye.  

Coleen has started calling me now instead of sending me text messages. Each time she was cooking dinner at Mark's when she calls. So I shouldn't look at phone calls as if they mean any more than just a nice hello. But yet I want something more and wonder why she gets the urge to talk to me more and more.

Later last night I was chatting online with Lisa and we had a discussion about whether phone calls from Coleen incates anything. Since the four of us spent a day on the boat together I think maybe I could get some slightly unbiased insight. One of the things driving me right now is Coleen has imposed a deadline for Mark to propose or she says she will be done. Whatever that means. This is to be July the Fourth weekend. Lisa was wondering if this is something Mark even knows and in all honesty I am not sure. I know that Coleen has said it to more than just me so I figure that me must. I don't really get the feeling that Mark is looking to get engaged but I still need to be mentally prepared anyway. Lisa thinks that if Coleen breaks it off with him after that date he will just completely disappear since he isn't really friends with anyone other than Coleen. We will see.

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