Here I sit on Sunday morning in front of my computer. I shouldn't complain. I manages to have a good social life. Friday night out with friends. Saturday I got calls from most everyone I care about. And yet I feel very unfulfilled. I'm sure it will pass.
Saturday morning at 9 A.M. my phone rings and I pick it up and it's Lisa. We made plans to have dinner. I had nothing else to do so it was easy to say yes. At first she said she would come my way but I tought it would be better if I went to her house. I wasn't sure what to expect. I felt as if she had made her point and we did end up having a nice quiet dinner, then went to her house and watched tv. I was on my way home by 9:30.
As I was leaving the house I got a text message on my cell... it was Coleen. I replied that she should call. We had what might have been the longest conversation we had ever had. That can be both good and bad. She was busy cooking but she had time to talk so I told her I was meeting a friend for dinner... for some reason I didn't want to tell her it was with Lisa. So we made a tentative plan to have Indian food with some of the others we know and of course her boyfriend too. That was the part the made me go south on the whole conversation. Obviously she not looking at me with an eye towards anything other than friendship. Why is it I can be a friend to anyone I choose but never more? Before I hung up I told Coleen I'd stop down at the bar on Sunday. Not sure if I'll go and I got the feeling she was not planning on it.
So Lisa and I planned to go to have dinner at a Japanese restaurant but at the last minute we decided we wanted Indiam food. So we went to Huntington and found the restaurant and enjoyed a spicy good dinner. Roberta called me while we were there. I wonder what Lisa thought about when that happened. She showed nothing.
So here I am on Sunday morning ... not feeling lonely but yet... I really want something more. I know I could make it an issue but that just wouldn't be me. I also feel like I know the answer before I even ask the question.
1 comment:
Glad you had a nice dinner with Lisa. The not feeling lonely but wanting more that happens to lots of us even when you are married and have many people around you.
Sharon
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