Happy Wednesday

I still feel this compulsion to write in the almost daily. It's probably not a good thing but I need the release. I've also been finding myself spending more time looking at facebook. I don't want to but I feel so disconnected lately I want to have some kind of contact so I know there are other possibilities. Right now my prospects have dried up and everyday I hope for something new that could begin and give me some optimism. On that note....
I saw the facebook of a girl I once had a thing with and sent her a friend request. It was more than 15 years since we last spoke so I'm not even sure why I did it. While she was nice to me ... slept with me on the first day we met ... I never ever felt like I was in love with her. She was in my town on vacation so things between us moved at an accelerated rate. After she went home ... more than 1000 miles away... I went and visited her once and we stayed connected through phone calls for over half a year. But I didn't like the long distance and she was talking about moving here so I broke it off. Another friend tells me she is still very much single. My feeling about her haven't really changed but I'm so desperate I really don't know what I'm doing. The last thing I need to do is fall back into a thing that has no possibility of working.
Last night I got out of the house to have dinner with my brother-in-law Ken. It was not exciting but I was glad to be anywhere but home wondering why the phone doesn't ring or why no one is sending me emails. Got home and didn't see anything so I spent the rest of the evening watching TV.