A weekend full of surprises. I took care of my mortgage and now it's just a matter of time. I finally got up the nerve to tell my landlord and landlady. They looks shocked and sad. It felt terrible to see them. I feel I need to make this happen but I am sad that I am leaving such a safe and secure place. I know I need to grow and change but they have been good to me and I hate that they are made unhappy when I go.
I did get to spend a lot of time with Coleen. She kept calling me although nothing is different. She is always going to effect me but I can see now there can never be anything between us. She just isn't seeing me like that. But I've tried to not see her and I just feel sad all the time so I'm going to just keep keeping on. Probably means I'll never get another girl but I'm adjusting to that. The hard thing is when I see other couples. I get so envious of what seems so close but never in my grasp.