Coming up on 9 AM and I am at my desk just like every work day since 1980. Such a grind but my biggest fear is what would happen if I wasn't working. It's pay day today and I just barely made it. At the end of the day yesterday I had less than $20 in my checking account. But all the bills that were due are paid and now the ones due in the next 10 days are in the mail and there is some money left over. But I do need to be thrifty. There will be no going out for anything expensive for at least the next month or so.
I'm just about back to feeling better from being sick with a cold. Lisa checked in with me yesterday about going to the gym but I just wasn't up to it. Maybe Thursday although I'm not so optimistic. I want to relax a little.
I haven't had the urge to seek anyone out for the last week or so and no one has reached out to me. In my mind I feel like I been pushing people away for a while so I'm looking at this as self-inflicted isolation. This actually makes me feel fine with it as it gives me a sense of control. How long that lasts is anybodies guess but I'm betting by Friday I will feel different.
It's kind of odd having no one I can count on and yet only feel slightly lonely. It's as if I am now seeing myself alone as how it should be. I wonder if this will turn into a bad thing or a good thing. It is sort of leaving me with very little to write about. And I am not feeling very inspired. This too must pass.