Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Happy Groundhog Day

It's Groundhog Day. Sleet and ice outside... there is not shadow that I can see so I'm guessing that means an early spring. Not really getting my hopes up. Am I the only one who sees the irony in the fact that there is a movie channel showing Bill Murray in Groundhog Day over and over today?
I worked in the city yesterday and somehow I must have left my ipod on all day because it was dead for the ride home. So all I had for the ride was to sit and look out the window with my thoughts. Not a good thing if I am struggling with my feeling of isolation. It may have been the longest train ride ever. I must have taken my phone out 10 times to see if I could call anyone, or better yet text. But I resisted the urge because I was just being needy.
I got home and there was a sheet of ice on the ground so I got home and planned a quiet evening home alone. I changes and got dinner started. A simple salad and spaghetti. As I started the water boiling I heard the cell phone chirp from the bedroom. What, a text message from Coleen? Yup. Nothing dramatic, she was just home like me and feeling alone. Makes me wonder if I an powerful enough to send out ESP for my mood and she heard it. More likely just coincidence. My guess is no one else responds as quickly because we chatted on the phone all too briefly. She said she needed to go and she would call back. I never ask why but I am going to assume the Tommy was calling from work. She did call me back but over an hour later. No way I was going to ask what the call was.
Part of me wishes Coleen would go away, but I was feeling alone so I was so elated from hearing from someone that I forgot about it. I can't really figure out why she likes to talk to me when there are so many other guys she finds more attractive. She resists making plans with me. She just tells me where she is and hopes I show up, which I usually do. This is such a bad pattern. My own little Groundhog Day. One where my heart breaks over and over. Worse yet I have all the power to make it stop. "Okay campers, rise and shine because it's cold out there". Something will break the string.

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