My blogs are now my main outlet for expressing my day to day struggle. I refuse to subject my friends and family to it. If I'm already sick of it I can imagine how they must feel.
Finally got a day with no more text messages. I'll get used to it after a while.
Last night I got a haircut by Loni. She has been cutting my hair for more than 10 years and even though we really don't socialize she knows me really well. During the haircut we got to talking about my situation. I really just wanted to know if there is a better way to handle things other than just not responding to any more text messages. She was a little harsh which I expected. She said I'm just repeating my Lisa experience, which I knew. She said to stop being friends with women and don't feel guilty about asking what I want right away.
I don't remember all the specifics but she did say that I am not wrong to not talk to Coleen any more, but if I do I should no longer even try to be friends. I should never been that anyway and never girls really respect the nice guys. It sucks. I'm really just in hell.
I made an attempt to talk to Tracy. She said hello and she asked about getting together. I said what about Friday ... she said she would get back to me ... thaqn didn't hear from her. She is still out of work and my interest in her went south because she never would see me as a date. And her conversations would annoy me because she was just a little too much like my ex-wife. But I feel so desperate right now I'm willing to give that another shot.
This morning I had a dentist appointment so right now I have Novocaine mouth. So no food until lunch.
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