My vacations ends today. I can't say it was a bad vacation but it wasn't everything I could have hoped for either. I mean I took this time off because my parents were here and alos Coleen was also off. It seemed like a good opportunity to have time off and always have someone to see. Instead I spent almost all my free time doing boat maintenence. It was necessary so it wasn't really a bad thing but I really had higher expectations for a vacation than spending my time alone with my boat.
I guess it is for the best because for the first time this year I feel I have a working boat that I can take out for day trips. In fact, yesterday I did just that with Lisa, Coleen and Mark .... the boyfriend. All went well until the end of the day when the wind caused my docking to get a little more suspensful that I would have preferred. I'm not sure but I think it may have traumatized Coleen a bit. It may be hard to get her out on the water again.
My ex-wife is now back home from the hospital and we had one conversation since her release. She also called me two other times when I couldn't really talk so I feel like I pushed her away. Maybe it is something I should do but it's not making me feel very good. The relationship I want with Brenda is that I would like it if she is happy and healthy but not if it depends on me. I'll talk to her again eventually.
My Memorial Day weekend included my Saturday barbeque where my family and most of my friends came to the park for the fireworks show. I bought a ton of hamburgers and hot dogs and everyone seems to have a great time. For some reason Coleen chose not to attend. She wanted to have a quiet evening at home with Mark. I did see her on Sunday at another BBQ. Things are not evolving anymore. They just are what they are.
So quite a bit of comings and goings and I have a lot of emotions that I wish I could express but I'm just not ready right now.
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