Darkness Falls

Time to turn the page on another month. It is now December. I'm hard pressed to remember if anything good has ever happened for me in December so I'm looking at this month with dread. Let me count the ways.
December 2 years ago is the month that wife died. It was also the month that John Lennon was killed. The year John Lennon was killed was also the year my very first girlfriend broke up with me. 30 years ago. I will never forget how much that hurt. It just isn't a time that I find good things happening. Christmas should be such a happy time and for the most part it is. But my feelings of loneliness are always at it's peak right now. I only have my extended family, but they all have their families. I am wife-less, childless and love-less. Seeing family members with all those things are especially depressing. And this year there isn't even anyone I'll be buying something special for. Okay - enough pity party.
I made it into the gym last night and continue to feel energized by it. I can actually look in the mirror and not cringe. I will keep at it as it has become the best thing in my life right now. I was actually looking around thinking I could meet someone there. It's the only place that there are new faces that I can meet. I am also considering trying the the sailing social again in 2 weeks. Maybe this time I'll go without Chris just to see what happens.