Thursday, December 2, 2010

Walls and Bridges

Last night's solitude was interrupted by a call from my mom. It was a welcome interruption. The phone call lasted some 30 to 40 minutes. I was just in a chatty mood. It was a good release. We talked at length about Lisa and her how she is struggling with her dad's illness. He has Parkinson's and I believe this has made Lisa more distant as she is dealing with her family pretty much full time now. I miss her but I need to let her go.
The rest of my day was uneventful. I am reading The Bridges of Madison County. It's a small book and I'll probably have it done before the weekend. It's hard to read for me now. The idea of reading about a star crossed love probably isn't a good thing. But I've seen the movie and I already know the ending. It is interesting to read about how 2 relative strangers can meet and how the spark of love can fire up so quickly. My experiences have a similar theme in that the only real love I've ever felt became physical almost immediately. The idea that I can expect someone I've known for years to suddenly see me in a romantic light is just not my reality.
So I lose myself in the romantic notions in a book for a few days. I get optimistic just knowing it's possible. Of course it will never happen as long as I am sitting in my house alone reading. So I am starting to give more thought to Plan B. Plan A was going to the sailing for singles event 2 weeks ago. It just seems like all the members of that group are older and mostly in retirement. I have considered getting back into scuba but my experiences were that men outnumber women 10 to 1. Skiing is another possibility. I will keep my eyes open. I may also look into joining a hiking club. I just know that I need to do things that I love and hope that someone finds me interesting. For sure I'm never going to get what I want at the local bar. I've spent way too much energy doing that.
Those are all long term goals but in the short term I need to find something interesting to do for the weekend. I am anxious to try something new. I have some ideas but I may just relax at home for a change while I refocus. I think I can use some me time for a while and let some of the people in my life come to me for a change. Maybe I will just take my camera out and take random pictures. That's the influence of Madison County.

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