Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Can't see the forest for the trees.

Just 10 days until Christmas and I have yet to even go into a store. I'll make a list and try to make some headway in the next 2 days. I'll be off from work Thursday and Friday so my goal is the get everything done this weekend. There was talk that Coleen was taking Friday off and she might help me shop but we will see.
I'm paid today so I can figure on what ever I spend will come from that money. I'm concerned that I have been going over whatever budget I have every month since I moved and I wonder if I'll be up against a financial wall by spring. I should really be watching my bottom line much better.
We had our first snow this week. Just an inch but it was the first time I'd been able to see snow falling outside the windows of my new place. Being on the second floor rather than the basement like I was before gives me so much more serenity. My house is on a hillside and if I look out my bedroom in the morning it is quite a site. Soon I'll take a picture and post it.
For some reason I had lots of trouble falling asleep last night. When I last looked at the clock it was close to 2 AM. I'm working in the office today so I was up at quarter to six. Just 4 hours of sleep is not enough. I had zero emails or conversations so I had no social outlets at all. I guess all those thoughts start to build up and by bed time my brain is going like crazy. I even did a work out at the gym and should have been exhausted. I really need to reach out to someone at night just so I can vent some thoughts.
I thought about calling Chris but I'm a little leery about getting too "friendy". Chris is a good guy but he has such quirks that he can be frustrating to talk to. He can be such a miser ... although it may be that he just doesn't make enough money to meet his needs. He owns his house and has no mortgage since he'd paid that off some time back. He does have a loan on the house but that's practically nothing. His big expense is child support but how much can that be?
I try to give him my best advice but really ... where do I come from? But I need to tell you ... his house is in need of updating in the worst way. Everything there has to be at least 30 years old. And he refuses to turn up the heat past 60 degrees. He has to be the last hold out to get cable tv. That's right, broadcast television. No computer either. At least he has a phone. So I asked him what his daughter does when she is there, his response is that she hasn't been there in at least 4 years.
So with him no longer involved with the ex I am harping to him to update the house. I should probably mind my own business but I feel sad that he lives like a shut in. He needs to find ways to bond with his daughter and should get her to feel like it is her home too. He doesn't see it.
I need to take care of my own issues ans not focus on fixing his. That's why I hesitate to get too involved with Chris and all that goes with that. I know I have this thing where I try to be the "fixer" and that is one on my co-dependent triggers. Of course that typically only applies to women and I don't have nearly the discipline I should.
Time to start work.

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