Monday, August 4, 2008

This is a long one

No movie quotes today... I barely had a minute in front of the TV the entire weekend. Was this a good weekend or not? I'm really not sure. Sleep did not come easy last night and I probably didn't finally drop off until almost 3 a.m. The alarm at 6 was real tough. I'll be drinking coffee throughout the day.  

If you read the last entry you know about how much fun I had dancing with Coleen. Well, Saturday was more Coleen. During the day she called and I invited her to come to my house and we went out for lunch. Her visit is the first time she had been to my house and I would like to be able to say she was impressed but I hadn't had a chance to clean at all and it was pretty messy.But she seemed okay with it ... just said it looks like a man lives there.

During our lunch, which included 2 margarita's which went right to my head, we were talking about nothing in particular. Then she got a call from Mark. He was done with work and would be home in the afternoon if she wanted to stop by. That was when she started to vent about his not being her boyfriend. I tried to seize the opportunity to talk about where she wants to go with her relationship. I didn't want to be confrontational so we just glossed over how she wants to redefine what a commitment really is. She showed me her very expensive bracelet that she got as a gift some time ago and she asked if see should see that as something from someone who feels committed. My response was that it is very impressive and maybe you could but I think in her heart she really needs to hear the words. And then ... I can't believe I actually said this... but I said maybe he isn't someone who can say it. I wasn't going to be confrontational over a second margarita.

With that we finished lunch ... I picked up the check. I headed home to finish cleaning the house and Coleen, I expect went to Mark's. I figured that would be the end of my day with Coleen but at around 7:30 she sent me a text that she was at the bar so I headed there. I half expected that she was with Mark, but no Mark anywhere. What is with this guy? It is a summer night and he is home? So I was shocked to see her out alone. And she was fun. Shooting pool and playing songs on the juke box.

Then at around 9 Mark's brother-in-law Bob comes in. His wife (Mark's sister) is away and he came in to get a late dinner. Since I'd never seen him in there before I thought it was odd. I have this feeling he was there to check on Coleen. While I didn't try to eavesdrop I did overhear them talking about how much drinking Mark does. It wasn't long after that when Coleen called it a night. I really want to take her to a dark, secluded place and just lay one on her. But I just said good night.

Sunday I had made plans to go see Lisa for brunch. I would have liked to make an early start but I got to her house just a little before noon. Just as I arrived at her door I got my first text from Coleen. At first I ignored it so then I got more texts. I told her I was out with Lisa and would call her later. Lisa was to spend the afternoon with Carmine so I knew I would be free in the afternoon. I was hoping to Coleen again...but as always the plan falls apart.

By the time I got back to Coleen she was with Mark. I wonder if she would have done that had I been around. Oh well, it seems like the time she spends with Mark leads her back to me anyway, though I didn't know it at the time. She did ask if I could come have dinner with them as Mark's house. I told them I was going to my sister's house for dinner, which I did although the invite from her came later. There was no way I was going there. It does bother me that she wants me in their company.

Later that evening while having dinner at my sister's Coleen asked if I could take her to see the music in the park. I was planning to go and I figured if she went she would go with Mark. Well, again there was no Mark. So he stayed in all weekend. When I picked her up at her house she was waiting in the driveway. She looked okay but I could tell she was on the edge of becoming emotional. As much as I wanted to explore that I told myself don't do it. Because then our conversations would just become all about Mark and I'm not going to beat that dead horse. She kind of let it go and the last thing I said to her was I would call her at work on Monday.

I know I'm way tooslow but as sad as this is I just can't seem to get away from this. My time with Coleen is special even if it never leads anywhere. I know I could push the issue but I still don't believe Coleen is ready to walk away from Mark She is planning a September vacation but last night she said she really wants to take a vacaton now. But Mark can only go after Labor Day and she really want to go away with him. So I'll make my vacation plan for August and assume she will still be Mark's until at least then.

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