Friday, August 8, 2008

More activity but no "action"

At the very least I do feel validated. I spent last evening with Coleen AGAIN. She was hungry and we went out to eat. I can tell she is struggling with not having dinner with Mark. She sounds determined to leave him but she is so used to having meals with him that she seems to be avoiding dinner altogether. I wonder if I could get her to eat with me? My house is much too far away for her to come too as often as Mark's.

I can see her going back and forth with how she wants things to go. Every now and then she would slip and talk about how she wants to live her life without Mark but then would talk about having people come to his house for a party. Or refer to him as "my boyfriend". She also slipped that she's been crying while doing soul searching at night.

Before the end of the night I told her my plans for the weekend would keep me busy and we couldn't get together. Her reaction surprised me a little. She was genuinely sad that I wouldn't be around. I can feel her getting attached to me but still only as a friend. Makes me consider changing my plans.

There is this thought however that she and Mark are only going through a rough patch and she would be glad to be in his company again if he would simply just reach out to her. So I do need to maintain some distance. I fear that I can't control any of my actions.

At the end of the night I put a kiss on her... no tongue. Best I can do.

No comments: