Since I hadn't heard from Coleen on Monday I had hopes of hearing from her on Tuesday. So when I got a text as I was walking of the train I felt pretty confident. I asked her to have dinner.
We met at 6:30 at our favorite Indian restaurant. First thing Coleen says to me was "Mark bit her head off again". Her exact words. It seems that Monday night she let his dog out and he ran through the sprinkler and this was somehow her fault. I siezed the opprtunity to see if she was ready to move on. She said she was but then I felt like she hasn't really made the switch. We talked a little about how life would be after Mark. I told her she would never lack for things to do. I told her she can call me any time. Hopefully she will.
I still don't really feel the love for me that I keep hoping I'll find. Just a friend who seems to care for me a great deal.
I can't really see how this can go on like this ... moving inch by inch. I imagine anyone who reads this must be frustrated or bored. That's if I still have anyone who reads my entries. I do get a sense that something will change soon. How or why is unknown to me.
During my evening with Coleen I got a text message from Tracy. She was inquiring about my weekend. I put my phone away until after Coleen had headed for home. I sent a response to Tracy that I hadn't taken a cruise on the boat and i wouldn't for at least a week. I really wanted to tell her I had been out with the one I love but I couldn't. No matter what happens with Coleen I can't ever see me having those feelings with Tracy.