I had a very diffecult time last night sleeping. I had so many thoughts spinning around in my head. I feel as if I seem to just play the same role over and over and whenever a situation developes that calls for me to take action I keep falling back into what I always do. For instance, yesterday Coleen called me early to tell me she wasn't going to work. Clearly, there was an opportunity to talk about where she wants things to go. And what do I do? I talk to her about her plans for the day and how she should relax.
I had a conversation with Lisa about this last night. As far the the falling back into familiar patterns she says she finds she seems to do the same thing. Her initial thought was like everyone else I should talk to her about how I feel and see where it goes. But then she added that it will happen when it happens and not to fret over it too much. She also said that maybe all this drama that is following her around would be bad for me to get myself into the middle of.
I do want to try to change the dynamic and I've been going over in my head just how I would do it. Unfortunately these things tend to happen when I am least ready for it.