Friday, January 27, 2012

New direction

I'm back. Did you even notice I was gone. I've missed a few days of blogging just to clear my head. Lisa is out and Janet is in. I called her last night and asked her out for dinner. I want to avoid the D-word (date). We have been friends for too long even though we haven't spent much time together in the last year.
I was just wanting to reach out to someone different since my phone calls to Carolyn lead only to ambivalence from her and Lisa lives with her boyfriend so I wasn't calling her either. I need to leave them both behind until they figure out what they want. In both cases it's probably not me.
My call to Janet lasted almost an hour. It was like she really wanted to hear from me. While we chatted about everything that was going on I realized how much I miss her. So without intending to make a plan before I called I just decided to see if she could come out for dinner Saturday. We will go to our favorite Italian place, which just happens to be right near my house. I have very limited expectations but I plan to clean the house just in case.
That was pretty much the highlight of my week. Sometimes it's feast and sometimes it's famine. I mean last week I was out for dinner on Wednesday with Carolyn and then again on Thursday with Lisa. So what happens is Friday and Saturday I'm alone. The this week I stayed in and now at least I have a Saturday night to look forward to.
Since I last spoke to Carolyn I can't decide how I want to proceed. I have been asking her out for something on a weekend and for the most part she is either non-committal and then accepts at the last minute or she just bails completely. I want her to realize that if she dismisses me I can just as easily find someone else. She probably knows that so I should just not get too excited about her anymore. Easier said than done but I'm trying. Not too long ago I had high hopes.

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