It's Friday and I'm at work. There is plenty to do but here I am wondering what to post about. We are off Monday for MLK day. With a three day weekend ahead you might think I have some kind of grand plan but no such luck. I seem to be stuck between wanting to see Lisa but only trying to see Carolyn, who still refuses to commit to anything I suggest.
While my preference is Lisa, she is still somebody else's girl so I know better than to even ask. At least until she officially takes off the "little rock", which she says will happen any day. Yesterday she convinced me to meet her at the gym and then she failed to show. That was fine. I work out whether she goes or not. But that is the one pretext I have to see her. We still talk most every day. It is a very sad situation but change is hard.
Earlier this week I had my one conversation with Carolyn. They seem to occur less and less often. She almost never reaches out to me lately. But then when I least expect it I get a call about something. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas we saw each other a lot but then since then not too much. The last thing we spoke about was plans for Friday night. She wanted to see some band that was playing locally and I said I would gladly take her but she still wouldn't confirm it. She holds off making the decision until the very last minute which is really starting to aggravate me. When she has done this in the past I have made other plans and she would then call me when I've already moved on. Even though I know it's her fault I always feel regret.
Carolyn just replied to an email I sent before lunch with this;
"I will have to get back to you later. Feel like I'm coming down with a cold."
While I have no doubt she isn't feeling well I also feel a little taken for granted. Like she still isn't sure so keeps me on the hook.
I don't want to make a big deal about it but this is really not doing anything good for my self esteem. If I had another option I would for sure take it.