Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Changing the rules.

My New Years Eve was nothing to speak of. I made one attempt to see if Carolyn would make a plan and when she didn't I remained at home for the evening. I considered getting out but thought better of it. I had asked Carolyn to call me one way or another and I haven't heard from her since. I'm thinking the best thing for me now is to put some distance between us. I haven't been having any fun with her lately so it's easy for me to just fade out. I'm sure there will be a call somewhere down the road.
I did spend a lot of time with Lisa. She and I met at the gym Saturday and Monday and then did stuff together the rest of each day. Yesterday we just relaxed and drank some wine. It was a good day but I can't help but be frustrated. She left at dinner time.
I needed to run some errands and at some point I wandered into the bar and saw my friend Chris there. I hadn't seen him in a while so I was glad to say hello. While I was there Coleen dropped in. She was anxious to make a plan to have dinner but I'm not sure I want to. I made a tentative plan for Thursday. She said she had spent her NYE alone. Her BF has a job that requires him to work odd hours so I just assumed he worked. She made her choice.
I had several phone calls from my neighbor Esther. She was baking and needed some eggs. I found out she was laid off from her job. I was shocked to find out she worked very close to Lisa's brother-in-law, Frank. He also was let go. It made for an interesting conversation when I next spoke to Lisa.
I don't know how I feel about things right now. There is distance right now between me and almost everyone. It's more my doing than anyone elses so I shouldn't feel too disappointed. I am content with how things are. What ever comes next will have to find me because I'm not going out looking.

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