The peaks and valleys seem to be less and less. Not a lot things happening either way. That is probably self-inflicted. I have pretty much eliminated from my day to day life anyone who creates drama.
After having dinner with Carolyn last Wednesday I have yet to see her again. When I spoke to her on the phone on Friday she seemed so non-committal that I just refused to reach out to her again. I keep going to that well and coming away thirsty. Sometimes it's easier just to stay home. Of course, last time I said that she called me and we ended up going out for dinner.
The only other person I saw was Lisa. It started as just to have a cup of coffee after going to the gym. Then I was invited to see her sister's family. Her nephew is a marine and was home on leave. He was heading back to base on Monday so I agreed to stop by for the going away event. I knew Lisa would be there but wasn't sure about Carmine. He was there too. Now don't get me wrong, I think C is a good guy, but with all the things Lisa has confided in me about I have trouble figuring out what to say and do. They still appear like a couple but everyone knows it's false. At least that is the impression Lisa has given. I did my best and I was glad to see the marine before he left. I made sure not to stay very long.
There is no understanding anymore. Things are just going to play out and I can only stand by and watch. I'm still no player. If Lisa wants a change it won't come from me. If I can get anything going it isn't going to be anyone I currently have in my life. Life right now is as slow as molasses.
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