Last night Lisa invited me to have dinner with her. She wanted to try a new restaurant that one of her friends just opened. She called it a grand opening but it just seemed like a regular night to me. I had expected she would see some other friends there but it was just me and her at a quiet table enjoying a good bottle of wine.
As we were talking I swear I could see her get a warm glow and I can almost see her look at me different, as if she wants me. But then I can almost literally see her talk herself out of it and move away from me at the same time. As long as I've known her I get this sense that she sees me differently than anyone else and I've never been able to figure out what I can do to change it. I know she loves being with me but will always move away whenever I draw close to her. The few times she has responded she goes off alone and comes back with a changed attitude. One day I will figure out what I need to do. Carpe diem.
And now the weekend is coming. I have this urge to just stay in and hibernate. I have been going out during the week a lot more than I'm used to. Dinner with Carolyn on Wednesday and dinner with Lisa on Thursday. It's getting expensive. Maybe I need to save a bit and stay home. When I see an opportunity I will probably forget all about this.