Monday, January 24, 2011

Just me being myself.

I know the road I am on leads to no where but I still go. I found myself with Coleen all weekend. You see, she had to put her dog to sleep on Friday. I spoke to her Thursday night and she knew it was going to happen the next day. She did not struggle with the decision but was real emotional. She had her dog for over 14 years and they had been through a lot of life together. She got Samson while she was married and lived out of state. When she divorced she took the dog to live with her and her parents. The dog became very attached to her dad and he to the dog. So they are grieving.
I spent a lot of time talking to her and I guess it's a skill I have. She seems to want me around as she struggles with her sadness. Unfortunately she probably won't feel that way when she is over things. But she asked me to go to dinner with her Saturday and Sunday we went to the mall and then watched the football playoffs together. Then I was invited to her house. Her dad didn't want to see anyone but he said I was okay. Then she said she wants to cook dinner for me on Tuesday. Of course I said yes.
Meanwhile I had Chris trying to see the game with me but Coleen wanted no one else around. And I never did hear from Janet all weekend. First time that's happened in a while. Not really sure how she is feeling but I also wasn't really caring.
This is probably not the right thing as I know Coleen is more into Tommy now than me and she won't ever see me that way. But I can't seem to help myself. I do love just being there. I'm so weak. I wonder if this happens to anyone else or is it just me.

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