Friday, January 28, 2011

I'm in a cold dark place

Somewhere under that snow is a car. My car. I'll bet you can't even tell what kind of car that is. It was a job getting all the snow off of it. But it's done now.
I had dinner with Maryliz, Kenny and their friend Jack last night. I made a big tray of ziti and brought it over and everyone enjoyed it. Maryliz told me Kenny gets his last treatment next week and then we will see if it was successful. Meanwhile he keeps losing weight so it will be good if he can gain back some of the pounds he's lost. I was planning to cook again next week but my sister told me it would be better if I didn't but that I should plan things for later in the year.
While I was at my sister's house I received a text on the cell from Coleen. We couldn't say too much but her last message was that she is still very sad over the loss of Samson, her dog. I can understand ... it's just been a week today. I wanted to say some more but felt I needed to pay attention to the people I was with.
It is also my mom's birthday today. I gave her a call. She is 75. She celebrated yesterday by going sky diving of all things. She said she will send a picture but I don't know if she has mastered the are of attaching pictures to email.
I was thinking about Lisa a lot yesterday. I knew she is dealing with the death of her fiance's mother. Seems there will be no funeral or wake. Maybe just a memorial sometime in the spring. I guess it's handled.
When I got home from dinner it wasn't very late so I called Janet so I could just tell her about the death. We hadn't really spoken in a while and I got a feeling she is not so pleased with me lately. I guess I'm spending too much time around Coleen and I am getting this somewhat disapproving tone. She needs to either step up or step off. Still I said I'd see her tonight. And I am going to try to do that. There is just one thing though. I really want to see Coleen. Why do I feel so addicted to her? I have this ominous feeling that something different is about to happen. It was something Jimmy said. I know Coleen talks to Jimmy as much as I do and maybe even more. He pulled me aside the other day and said she is looking at me different than I think. I just keep going back to when she decided she needed to go to Dean's house. And Dean doesn't even really like her. I don't want to go through that again. I have this feeling that's coming. I hate these feelings.

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