Last Sunday I took a picture of Coleen and her aunt with a bunch of flowers that Coleen had given her for her birthday. I thought it came out really well so I printed it so she could have a copy. When she sent me a text that she could have dinner last night like a fool I changed my plans to go to the gym and went to see her. Her friend Barbara was also going to be there.
The problem with text messages is you really can't know that the person who sent it is in no condition to be out. Coleen had been drinking for about 2 hours before I got there and really needed to just go home. Which is what she did about half way through dinner. So off she went leaving me alone with Barbara. Fortunately Coleen lives only a block away and walked home. Last thing she said was maybe Barbara and I could get lucky. WTF? First off I'm not interested in Barbara and secondly Barbara has a BF. Coleen was joking ... I hope. But underneath it just made me feel she really looks at me as a non-factor. Last thing she says is I should give her a call later that night. That's not going to happen. She was going to be asleep a soon as she got home anyway.
I would let it go except it's usually her that calls me. But I could just say no and move on. I need to. But I don't want to. Because I have nothing else. Well, tonight I'm taking the first step towards changing that. I am going to a singles function with my friend Chris and hopefully I can make connections somewhere new.
Update - Got a text message from Coleen asking me if I am mad. I told her I wasn't. At least not at her. I'm not telling her how she breaks my heart, though.