A game without rules means I never get to win

Okay, time for a new posting to the blog. The living goes on even if the drama seems to have dissipated. I spent the majority of my weekend laying low. What little bit I did go out for was at the bar just hanging out. Yes, Coleen was there but I am still making an effort to let that go. There were lots of people to talk to, including Janet who showed up even though she never called to say she was planning to.
I am planning a house warming party this Saturday so I have had that to occupy my mind. I nailed down the guest list last week and have been taking suggestions on food ... which is a mistake since everyone has their own way of doing things and I get conflicting advice. But that the way it goes when you ask.
Saturday morning I arose early and got into the gym. My workouts have been a good outlet for me and I was there for most of the morning. When I got home the phone rang and it was Janet. She was heading to the big box store and I went and met her there and picked up some good stuff for the party. We also talked about things that need doing and I formed a nice little task list. As we got close to evening she said she wasn't going out so I stopped into the bar again. There I saw Coleen with shaved head guy, Tommy. My friend Jimmy noticed they both left the night before at the same time although not together, or so it seemed. So it looked like they made a hook up out in the parking lot. Since they were now clearly together it was obvious. One more nail in the coffin. Later she called me over and asked me if Tommy could come to the party. With him right there! So of course I said okay. Life just gets better and better.
Next morning I'm up early and figured I'd just get some laundry done. Not even 9 o'clock my home phone rings ... and I can see on the caller ID it's Coleen. I hesitate but I pick up. She tells me she had trouble sleeping last night at home. Home ... where her parents are. She said she was up most of the night. She knew I had some leftover food and we had talked about having it for lunch soon. She said she almost called me at 3 AM. I thought she had done a sleep-over with baldy boy. I'll never know for sure.
And what do I do.... I agree to go shopping to the mall with her and then we could have lunch. There I was in the woman's clothes dept. watching her try on pants. And I actually enjoyed it. Why do I continue to do these things? At least I told her how I thought she shouldn't have put me on the spot as far as asking me to invite Tommy to the party. She said she realized she did that and was sincerely apologetic. She also said he was probably not going to come. It seemed like there may be more to this but I dropped it.
We ended up spending most of the day together. I'm so easily satisfied. We watched the late football game in the bar ... and who was there but Dean. The September guy she went home with ... and still probably doesn't think I even know. We went in separately so I was actually there a good half hour before Coleen came walking in. She said hello to everyone the same way, hardly a glance to Dean. And he didn't really say much to her either. Like they barely know each other.
So someone needs to explain this to me ... and it's not just this thing. It seems like I see this reaction from all the women that have had these kind of one night things. How do you have that kind of intimacy and then dial it down so far that you don't even want to look each at each other? Is it shallowness or some kind of knee jerk reaction that I am not familiar with because I don't have those experiences? It has an effect since now I don't know what to believe. I'm also wondering if the women I'm around won't do that with me because they know that I'll then be all over them when all they really want is someone new once. Everything I learned growing up about what a real man should do is lost to me now. What are the rules?