Wednesday, February 15, 2012

SHUT UP (WAS:What is old is new and what is new is old.)

The strangest thing happened to me this morning. I saw a girl in the elevator who looked very familiar. I thought it was someone who left the company years ago. She looked really old. The girl I remember was young. Then she recognized me and I realized it was Karen. She works in another Department. We exchanged a quick hello and she told me she left and was just back. I said something stupid like "welcome back to the mother-ship".
I am flashing back to more than 10 years ago (maybe a lot more). I think Karen had a crush on one of the directors that I played on the softball team with. He was a married guy. I'd always wondered if her reason for leaving had something to do with that. I suspected they had an affair. Or at least they almost did. I remember getting into a discussion about why I wasn't that interested in her. I was attracted to her but I just had this bad vibe. Flash forward to today, married guy is still here and now divorced. He splits his time between this office and another one downtown. So of course I'm thinking her being here again is no coincidence.
Now she is older and more than a little heavier. But then who isn't. I'm sure she got married and has kids and stuff. Isn't it just like me to have one exchange outside an elevator and turn this into a whole drawn out thing.
I heard from the other women in my life yesterday. Carolyn sent me an email that said practically nothing. I feel bad that I didn't call her after Friday and I have this feeling she is being a little distant. I'm probably looking for something that isn't there. Then Lisa calls me as I am riding home on the train last night. She was very excited to be making an offer to buy a unit in my co-op. Things are moving along for her. You would think I would be really happy at the prospect of us being neighbors and I mostly am. But there is a little voice in my head that keeps saying this could turn out to be really bad. I keep telling the voice to shut up.

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