Another summer has come and gone. While I can say I had a very enjoyable time this summer I'm still a little sad since I am still struggling with my singleness. I had hopes that Coleen would become available but as things evolved it is apparent to me now that she is never going to see me in that light. It's odd that we have come close but only in a platonic way. Why do I always seem to be able to only get that result from anyone I'm attracted to. I must look at this and see what in my behavior is causing this.
Coleen is going away on Friday with Mark to Lake Placid. I haven't heard from her in a couple of days and while I am not avoiding talking to her I feel I can't call or text her. She will only tell me how all excited she is about her trip and I'm just not wanting that conversation.
Lisa is also going away with her boyfriend. She left this morning. She will be in Pennsylvania. Lots of vacations lately, but they go will boyfriends and I go solo. I will say that I think I had the better vacation. But I wish I could be planning a vacation with someone special. I still have a sense of optimism that way.
But summer is over and now I start looking toward fall. I want to scale back my social outings. I spent way too much money this summer so I have to look at a budget and try to stay with in it. More time at home and less going to bars.