Monday, October 3, 2005

Good weekend yet I feel so empty

Friday night went to see Sir Paul McCartney at Madison Square Garden. It was so good. My friend Joe got me a ticket at the last minute. He's not into music at all.... he showed up 3 songs into the show. I was there about 2 hours early. He opened with "Magical Mystery Tour" and played about 25 Beatles' songs among the 40 songs he did. That's right ... 40 songs. It was a long concert and he did all the favorites. Some of the surprises were "Flaming Pie", "Too Many People" and "I Will". I've decided I need top pick up my guitar again and learn "I Will". He closed with "Sgt. Pepper (reprise)/The End". That's the song that finishes with "And in the end the love you take is the love you make". I wish I wasn't so jaded so I could believe that. Maybe soon.

Spent Saturday out to dinner with Janet and her otherfriends Sue, Roberta, and Judy. They went to Block Island last weekend and were nice enough to get me a hat that I had asked them to get for me. I really wish I could have gone. Maybe next year I'll get my life together. So after dinner we went to the park to see a free rock concert and Judy and Roberta kind of ditched us from there. I opened a bottle of wine and we sat on a blanket ... Sue in the middle between Janet and I. Then Sue wanted to go home so I asked Janet to come to Buckrams for a drink... which she did. The first time I'd ever been alone with her ... but I bumped into Robby Posichek there so I ended up talking with him and his wife Carolyn (I think her name is Carolyn). He was pretty drunk and I guess maybe I was too, a little. Janet had enough after one drink. She was right to go home. But she kind of bolted out the back and I barely got a peck on the cheek goodbye. Yeah... like Joe said to me ... move it on down the road.

So I head for home and I had purposly left my cell phone in the car and when I checked it there was a message from Lisa.... First contact since Monday. There was a lengthy message about her getting lost driving home from New Jersey. She wanted to meet me for a drink ... I got the feeling the drink was more important than my being there so I declined. I went home and went to sleep.

Sunday was the Sea Cliff mini-mart. I had set up meeting Janet there. Janet called while I was on the boat and I headed up there around 2 in the afternoon. While there I saw practically every one I know. Then Lisa called around 3:30 just as Janet was leaving. She was right in the area and came to meet me. Mycell rang and while I answered it Janet disappeared. No goodbye.

So Lisa and I walked around another hour and a half and talked about our week since we had been apart all week. It seemed nice but I could see was really not that into the whole scene and I was getting really tired. So we called it a day and she dropped me off at my car around 6. Again not much of a goodbye. She had been running around alot and needed to go home and relax ... So I closed up and boat and headed home myself.

I guess I should feel good that I spent so much time with friends and enjoyed myself the whole weekend but truth be told I just feel like everything is not what I want. I'll always want more than I can get. I'll make my peace with it soon but I'll never get anywhere with poeple who obviously are only looking at me as good company. That's why a feel so empty.

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