Not too many things went right this past weekend but I've only myself to blame. But even from my mistakes I learn. First of all I couldn't get myself into the office on Friday but I was able to work from home so at least I didn't need to use up a vacation day. It all goes back to Wednesday night when I took Lisa out for dinner. We enjoyed a nice meal at a Thai food restaurant she introduced me to. But when I got home I had one more cocktail and then dragged my ass out of bed and went to work with a wicked hangover. This was Thursday and you might think I would have gotten over it by Friday morning but I had such a bad night sleep I just decided to stay home.
I consider calling in sick altogether. I knew from my last conversation with Carolyn that she would have been available on Friday for a day of boating but waking up I knew I just didn't think I could. For some reason I was holding out for Lisa. I know I need to stop doing that. So I worked from home on Friday and didn't reach out to anyone all day. It wasn't until after 6 that Lisa sent me a text asking if I was interested in going downtown to hear the live music show they have every Friday night. I said I would be there, but she said she was at her sister's and would be down later. I had the feeling she wasn't going to show and I was right. I should feel that way but I did feel a little like I'd been blown off. While I was there I saw Roberta and ended up having a drink with her. It was a pleasant one on one. I briefly saw Coleen, but after a quick hello she disappeared into the crowd. So I watched the music feeling a little alone.
I wasn't feeling like going home so when Roberta suggested doing something I went along and had one drink. I was home by 11. I considered talking to Carolyn. The last time I spoke to her she was in the middle of something and was supposed to call me back but since she never did I'd decided I wouldn't call her for a while. Her fault, not mine. I think.
On Saturday Lisa called me at about 11. She was scheduled to go for CPR training. She told me she was waiting to be picked up by one of her co-workers. I knew what that means. Pretty much every time Lisa says co-worker that means the married guy Mark. It's like her dirty little secret she hopes that no one knows about. Except she let's it slip to me every now and then. So I get to see little tells that can only mean one thing. She suddenly has gin in the house. She doesn't ever drink gin but she said she wanted a change. I know I should mind my own but sometimes I'm too smart for my own good. So when I didn't hear from her at the end of the day Saturday I could only speculate how she was spending her evening. I don't know anything for sure but if it quacks like a duck....
So anyway on Sunday I heard from my friend Chris and we enjoyed sailing for most of the afternoon. Not much wind and not much sun but it was alright. I really want to go on a short weekend trip. I feel like i want to get away.
After the boat was back at the dock I dropped into the bar for a drink. I met Coleen there along with her somewhat annoying friend Barbara. She wanted me to join them at dinner but I told her right up front I was just not up to it. Still she insisted on calling me again to see if I'd come meet them. It's rare for me to say no but I just wasn't interested.
I may have shot myself in the foot but I'm trying to distance myself from some of these women. I've pretty much looked at all the women I know and I've been pushing them all away. I just wish some one new could walk into my life but I know that's not really a solution. I even have Janet sort of waiting for me to get back to her and I've been putting it off. And she might be someone who is most pleasant to be with right now. She has reached out to me twice and I've been somewhat unreceptive. She is probably the one person I need to call back.
Early this morning I started getting texted by Lisa. Really early, like before I got to work. I felt this need to explain why I didn't call her Sunday night, even though there is no reason for us to talk. I have this urge to ask her about what is going on with her "co-worker" friend. Rule number one is: never ask a question unless you are prepared for the answer.