Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Words on a page

For some reason today I have an urge to write. Not sure why since nothing much has been going on. My work has become my main priority and everything else has needed to take a back seat. Unfortunately it's making me feel socially bottled up right now. Not seeing or talking to many people. It feels like my Doreen thing has whithered and died and it's my own fault. I haven't followed up our one night of near passion with any kind of plan. It's not dead and buried but it definitely feels like it's in the ICU.
I spent my entire weekend last week working in and around the boat. It's not ready to go into the water yet but I for sure want to have a timetable in place by next Monday. It is a long lonely process since I have no one that has any interest in the process but me. They all are waiting for the launch.
I can't seem to figure out how I want my life to be any more. I mean, here is someone willing to see me as a man and I feel like it's not the right thing. There may be too many similarities to what was wrong in my marriage and I don't want my loneliness cause me to commit to something too soon. But it was so nice waking up with another person in the house. But now it just feels a little fast.
My plans for the upcoming weekend include a wedding. It is Janet's daughter. I have barely spoken to Janet in over 2 months. We spoke in the phone once since before I left for Florida and that was my initiative. I may just find myself alone a lot while at this event. Part of me wonders if I should even go. There just better not be a problem with Roberta.

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