Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Attitude Adjustment

I've been busy even though no one has been around. Just one of those things where I have a lot to do. Big night of laundry last evening. I go to the laundry room that is part of my building and get 2 loads of wash all set up and then realize the change machines are out of quarters. And I'm one quarter short. Ugh. So I'm off to find quarters. I find a public laundry and pumped a $10 bill into it and got my change. So it wasn't really that big a deal. It was just wasn't how I planned my evening.
No one has called me back since Monday. I'm sure it's just everyone else keeping busy just like me. So I won't think much of it. I'm going to attempt to make it into the gym at least twice this week. I've really slacked off the last month or so and want to get myself back. I was there Monday and I feel really sore so obviously I needed it. I know I'm never going to have that athletic look but I at least can feel like I can maintain some kind of active life style and never feel like I am completely over the hill. I also want to be around people. And staying out of the bar is always a good thing.
It looks like I've heard the last of Doreen. Seeing her FB entry about planning a trip with the ex-BF has made me put her on the shelf. She was never going to amount to anything anyway as she could never keep up with what I do. I also felt like she was looking for a man with a fat wallet. She even said that was her only interest in the ex-BF. Not a lot in sincerity there. I know this is going to seem cold but I was struggling with the fact that she is more or less disabled. I didn't see it at first but she is still suffering from the after effects of a stroke some years back. She can't really use her arm and she has a severe problem walking although I didn't even notice it. I guess when you meet someone in a bar and you just talk for hours it's not easy to notice. She and I were sitting on bar chairs when we met and I just never picked up on it. But she did seem really nice and has a cuteness about her. I was hoping to see how far I could go but maybe I'm better off seeing this end now.
I was thinking about how I am with these kind of things. I was considering what another guy might do when looking at this situation. I knew I was never going to allow this to be any kind of big thing, but I was considering how I really need some kind of validation. I thought I could try to seduce someone and for the most part I was doing just that. I think if I could commit to that and have just allowed her to think I was more into her she was going to go for it. It could have been easy but something inside me just wouldn't let it happen. I wanted to slow things down a little and with that she apparently moved on.
The only positive thing I can come up with is that I know I can spot a girl that likes me. All I need to do is be a little more aggressive and see how that goes. I may just look at the next situation and have a little more attitude and see where it takes me.

No comments: