Monday, August 22, 2011

Nobody loves you when you are down and out

I've been taking a longer and longer time between posts. Maybe it's lack of inspiration or maybe it's just summer. It seems like all my blogger friends have been away for the month and ignored the blog. I just hope everyone is having fun and not in any serious problems preventing access to the Internet.
My life on the edge continues. My edge right now is financial in that I've pretty much spent all my walking around money with 2 weeks before my next paycheck. This because my IRS tax bill came due and since I'd given them the info needed to draw the money from my checking account they did just that. Up until then I'd paid via check and figured they were accepting that and I would be able to send the last of the money on the 1st. I consider it fortunate that I had enough to pay and still was able to pay all my bills as well. Just not I can't really do anything that requires money.
So on Friday I got a call from Carolyn to have a drink before she went into the grocery store I told her I would love to come but she would have to pay. I'd already told her about what happened to me so she was sympathetic and we enjoyed a drink. While I was there I got a text from Lisa to come to GC Downtown to hear the music. She had said she would be there with her fiance and since I never committed I didn't think she would miss me. When Lisa started texting me I showed it to Carolyn and she was telling me I should go. This made me conflicted and also bothered me for another reason I'll get to.
If Lisa had told me she would be there alone I might have been more open to it but since she has told me she how she feels that her future with Carmine seems to be almost at an end I'm not feeling like I want to hang with them together. At that moment my prospects with Carolyn seemed more realistic than whatever Lisa has up her sleeve. Especially since Carolyn called me and it would just be the two of us.
But then when Carolyn started insisting I should have gone to see the band in GC it made me start to wonder just how much she wanted me there. She suddenly seems so indifferent to things. We have spent a lot of time together in the last few months and I've really enjoyed getting to know her but clearly this is not evolving like I'd hoped. So with that I said good night before it was too late and was home by 10.
Meanwhile the weather had turned nasty, with thunder, lightning, wind and rain. So I knew the music was probably over pretty early. I returned a last text to Lisa who said she would be busy most of the weekend.
And that was pretty much that for the weekend. Since I was totally broke I couldn't do much of anything and no one even called me to see how I was. I spent most of my entire Saturday and Sunday in the house with the cat. I've been here before. I go from having multiple choices on Friday to nothing for the rest of the foreseeable future. It usually turns around at some point. My birthday is a week from tomorrow so let's hope I can find someone who at least will say hello before then.

1 comment:

Cindy said...

Sorry I haven't commented for a while. I'm still here and always read your entries, but yes summer has been super busy with the move into the new house and my youngest daughter home from Chicago for 2 weeks and a weekend camp out / party this past weekend!! (With a live band,(it was awesome)). Lots going on. But I ALWAYS take the time to read your posts ;)