Whatever

I spent my Sunday sailing with family members. That is my niece Kate and me with my hand on the wheel. There was quite a bit of wind so it was not the most relaxing day. Still it was great to feel the boat moving under sail.

That was just part of my activities. Nothing unique or out of the ordinary though. I had breakfast with old friends that I know from scuba. It has me thinking I should get myself back into it. I will consider making that possible after I've got a few mortgage payment behind me and I can figure out what my expenses are. My last time diving must be about 5 years ago. It seems like I had more friends and never felt isolated or alone while I was pursuing my scuba hobby. This was all started by my last girlfriend. Probably won't ever find that place again but I'll always want it.

So my breakfast got me up early for a Sunday. The place I was going to took me right past Coleen's house. I shouldn't have peeked but I looked and saw her car was not there which in my mind means she spent the night some where other than home. Since i found out she went away with her new guy Tom I guess she will be shacking up with him on a regular basis. I just hope I'm not going to obsess on this for too long. She actually said she wants to take a trip away on the boat but I know she is just stringing me along.

I made the mistake or reaching out to Tracy. She of the bad knee and not much else to talk about. Seems she is still not working after quitting her last job more than a year ago. I knew I should just let that one drift away into the abyss of lost friendships but I have nothing new going on so I always seem to think I can dredge up something old and not so great. More torture for myself to think about.

I want to tell myself I can be fine with it just me, myself. But I really want to find some affection that is real and sincere. Even if it is only temporary.