I am feeling like this is how it should be. I am fated to be on my own and even though I say outwardly that I want to have some one special in my life but the fact is I have many people who are special. This makes me resist new relationships. And I'm not really willing to admit this is a bad thing.
Lately I've been thinking back to when I had someone who loves me and how I could have company with some one who is all about me or us. It has been so long since I've seen that in someone's eyes. Okay ... I've spent enough time thinking about being alone.
It's Friday! There will be a lot of activity this weekend. Tonight I will be seeing music in the village. It's a Buffett Tribute Band so maybe there will be dancing. It seems like I haven't done that since my niece's wedding.
The rest of the weekend will be all about remembering my dad. It's been 6 months since he past away and we still need to put his ashes where he wanted to rest. He loved his time on the water and he passed that love to me and in some way to all of us. We are an extension of his life and I am secure knowing I will always carry a part of him in me.
So we will take the boat I own which was his and the boat my brother Barry owns, which also used to be his and we will raft together in the bay where it really all started. My mom will be there and we expect all the grandchilren to be there so that they can remember him one last time.
It will be a family-only event so I don't expect I'll see anyone else. At least until Sunday. I can't seem to look that far ahead.