I took a picture of Coleen over Thanksgiving weekend. She was writing the dinner specials on the sign at the bar.
I keep coming close to abandoning this but I then I always find myself coming back. I can finally say all is calm and I am not really stressing on anything at the moment. I still have much to do for Christmas and I really want to do some nice things for everyone because even though I don't have all the things I want I am really thankful for all that I do have.
While talking to my brother Barry I mentioned how I wish I could afford a new flat screen tv because I seem to have HD envy. In our conversation I mentioned how my old 29 inch broke and so I was due for a tv and maybe I'll get one next year.... he mentioned he had an old 29 inch tv that he didn't use and I was welcome to that. I went and got it Saturday and I no longer want a new TV. This one works great.
Then Sunday I went to my sister's for dinner and helped a little with their Christmas decorations. While I was there we found a remote control to a stereo that I got from them last summer. Now I can lay in bed and listen to music and not need to get up to turn it off. So it's been like an early Christmas for me this year.
I had planned to see Lisa and Carmine's new apartment last weekend but she ended up cancelling on me. I'm beginning to think she doesn't want people in her house. We still talk every day, we no longer have any real conversations. I miss that. There are things that I can only tell Lisa about.
Not seeing Coleen at all last weekend was not as difficult as I didn't just wait by the phone but I did miss her. I'm trying to not obsess and to keep things real. But I did call her late yesterday and she was wondering where I had been on Sunday. She went out to watch football and thought I would show up. I probably would have had she called but maybe I needed a little space. Then later last night she called me again and while we only had a casual conversation, we did speak at length. My mind wants to make plans with her but all she commits to is we will talk as we get closer to the weekend. She doesn't say anymore if it's still about Mark, but I'm sure it is.