Saturday, December 6, 2008

Finally an explaination

Saturday morning and I'm up really early. It's a little past 8 and I've already been up for an hour. That's what happens when you stay home on a Friday night. It's been a very quiet week. Last weekends drama subsides a little more every day. I think I can probably talk about it now.
It seems some of my friends don't like how I spend a lot of time with Coleen. And they want to get in my face about it. They say they miss me being around. I kind of ticks me off. Everyone else gets to do what ever they want and no one ever takes it personally, but because I like Coleen and she likes me it's a problem. It's to a point that Roberta is asking me to choose and while I won't like being put in that position I'll take Coleen over my friends and if my friends don't like it then maybe I need to rethink who my friends are.

Now this brings me to last weekend. I absolutely needed to get some work done on my boat before the real cold weather set in. This is a job I've always had to do alone as no one has ever been that interested in what the boat maintenance is. But Coleen was there helping me anyway. We spent most of the afternoon taking care of things together. I knew I had to go to Janet's for dinner and Coleen wasn't invited. Since I always figure Coleen will have dinner with Mark I thought I had made a good choice in accepting the invite. Well, Coleen got a call from Mark about dinner and she told him she wasn't interested in dinner that night. Then I had to tell her I was going to Janet's. I could see how disappointed she was. I considered blowing off Janet but I'd done that once before and couldn't really do it again. So I left Coleen behind and went for dinner.

While I did enjoy dinner my mind was really on how I didn't want to even be there. So when Roberta started in about how they all saw my car at Coleen's during the day and I'd been found out. She probably expected me to get defensive but instead I just said whose business is it where I am during the day. Well, things evolved into a very heated conversation so I just got mad and left in a huff. Never said goodbye to Janet who didn't want me driving since I'd probably had too much wine. But I needed to go home. It was pretty late.

On Saturday there was a party for Roberta's daughter and I decided I wasn't going to that. When I could send my evening with Coleen that was the clincher. We had dinner and even though it ended early I didn't need any more crap. I was still very emotional.

So there it is. I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about it. I'm also rethinking my position with Coleen too. It's the holidays and I need to figure out how to go about planning how I want to be. Should I come right out and make a stand with Coleen and tell my friends to fuck off? And if Coleen says she isn't in to me that way I should then go make nice with my friends?

I've wanted to have some real conversations with Coleen all week but it just hasn't happened. When I left a message for her on Thursday and she didn't call me back I decided I was staying in on Friday. I had asked her to have dinner with me during the week and she didn't want to do that either. She just said maybe. I suspected she was planning something with Mark so I didn't really want to go into the bar and find her leaving to have dinner with him and then I'd get the third degree from my friends again. I wasn't feeling very loved. So I was making a really nice dinner when I got a call from Coleen. She was at the bar and wondering when I was getting there. I told her since I didn't hear from her I wasn't sure she would be there and I really didn't need to see anyone else. She said she had been asked to dinner by Mark but she told him no. It sounded to me like she was looking forward to seeing me more than Mark. So now I feel like I need to talk to her even more. She said she would go home early and give me a call. So I sat by the phone and it never rang.

I'm sure she got home and was tired and probably more than a little drunk. Better she doesn't call me like that as she tends to babble. I will no doubt hear from her later today. My plan for the day is to go see Lisa at new new apartment. But first I'm getting a haircut. Which I need to get to now.


Cindy said...

WOW!! I agree with you that it isn't anyone's business what you do or who you see. Why are they all so down on Coleen?? I thought they were all part of the same circle??? Well, good luck to you! The plot thickens, I guess, and I think it's all pretty complicated, so at least for now, I don't have any advice so I'll just say I hope it works out to your benefit and that you have a great and exciting weekend! ~ Cindy

Anonymous said...

I also thought that Coleen got along with everyone. I do think your friends need to give you your space and let you figure out how you want things to happen. I can also see how they could miss you being around. Seems like you have spent alot of your time with them. Maybe they are just taking it the wrong way. I'm glad you got to spend some time with Coleen. Sounds like she is finily getting tired of Mark. It will still take some time for her to really leave him alone though. Theres still feelings there but people can only take so much from someone ya know. I don't think you should have to pick between coleen or your friends. You should be able to spend time with coleen when you want to and also be able to hang out with your friends. If they are making you pick then it's not right at all. Over all they seem to be good people. :/