Christmas lights

I put Christmas lights on the boat. It wasn't really that dark when I took pictures so I've got to go back and see if I can try again. It's still a work in pogress.

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Why can't life be like a Christmas special ?

The holidays always bring us those moments we can only ever see in those movies and specials on TV. All though the movie everyone is lonely, poor, sad, dying and lacking any holiday spirit. Then by the end everyone has a love, job, money and live happily ever after. It's just a shame real life is so different. Life does not change just becuase it's Christmas. Once I've come to grips with that the stress seems to diminish.Great... only took half a century.

I thought the picture below look like a more appropriate holiday dinner... take out chicken, beer, hats at the talbe. The hostess with cleavage is nice too.

 

 

 

 

I just realized it's a new day

All my days are starting to blend together. Still a little down from my cold but definately on the mend. I must get out and do laundry tomorrow. I'm still working from home til Wednesday.

My day started with an email from Roberta. She wants to plan next week already and so do I. But I'm also considering if it's such a good idea. I know we are all being just friends and I should just not have hopes for more but it's hard to just try to accept things as they are and instead of how I wish they would be. I keep looking for any sign of affection when I know it's already way past the time that could ever happen without it feeling just really stupid. It's the kind of thing that can't just happen any more. It would feel forced unless there was a long dicussion and I've never been able to work up that conversation and have it end well.

I've been thinking about my discussion with Mike PC about his little "drive-by" of Reberta's house. Is it obsessive behavior? Maybe a little. But I've heard worse horror stories than that and maybe even found myself in the midst of similar acts. But never with someone who so obviously is not interested in me. And who knows what that first step is to being a full blown stalker. It all gets creepier and creepier. So I'm not second guessing myself for calling in on it even if he wants to make everyone believe it was simply a wrong turn that brought him to the house. He needed to know what we were thinking. Now let's see what happens next.  

You can't beat quality time with your cat

It's been just me and Tigger all weekend. From Friday night, when he disappeared for an hour through Sunday night I've been pretty much flying solo at home. Mostly it's this cold I've been fighting all week. Also I need to be really thrifty. The rent is due and I need to wait until Thursday before I can even pay it.

I did get phone calls from Janet, Mike PC, and then finally Roberta. No one had any plans either. I wonder if I was more able could I have talked them into something. I wish my house was better and I could have people here. So as far as I know no one had much to do this past weekend so I didn't miss anything.

We got a little snow last night. The picture was take early in the morning in Bayville by John. His plan was to go scuba diving but I'm pretty sure he never made it into the water. If he did good luck to that. No way am I going diving in the snow. Tigger got out in the snpw this morning. I don't think he likes it much. He came right back in and hasn't made much of a fuss to go outside today.

I did make it down to the boat yesterday before the snow..

It sits in the marina riding out the cold. This picture was taken 2 weeks ago before I moved it into it's winter slip. I'll get one of that next weekend. Hopefully there won't be any ice. I have 2 heaters going inside the boat so it should be nice and warm. It's a long way to Summer though.

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It's December already?!

I'm still suffering with a cold. Seems like I've been dealing with this way too long. It's really only been 5 days but it feels like it's different every day. Sometimes sneezing, sometimes coughing and sometimes it feels like I'm not sick at all. But every morning I wake up feeling horrible.

I had a very disturbing conversation with Lisa last night. She had been complaining about pain in her abdomin. She went to the doctor early yesterday. When she mentioned she was going to the doctor a few days ago I just figured she was going in for a regular checkup. So last night around 5:30 my phone rings and it's Lisa. She wanted to talk about her trip to the Dr. She told me it's a little complicated. You may recall that just passed away from cancer last July. So any little thing should cause concern.

First off, while she lived in Arizona Lisa had been losing skin from her neck and chest area that is exposed to the sun. I just figured her fair skin had made her peel and she should stay out of the sun. The doctor thinks it's a serious problem with her immune system and she needs to go to a dermitologist and have it checked. When they discussed her pain in her abdomin Lisa said the doctor pointed right where her ovaries are and said if it's there it may be a problem. Lisa had always thought it may be liver problems becuase she likes to drink wine. The doctor recommended a sonogram to make sure.

She left the doctor thinking with the doctor saying she should set up an appointment sometime in January which would indicate nothing too serious. But then just before she called me the doctor called her and told her she should have it done as soon as possible. While we talked my first impulse was to try to minimize the possibilities, but after a few minutes I was really feeling scared for her. I was having flashbacks to when Janet told me her mom was going to the doctor for a little pain and that turned out to be very serious and she died within a few months.

So I told Lisa to stay positive but follow the advice of the doctor and get the sonogram right away. We then talked about all the possible scenarios. Removing the overaies or even a hysterectomy would leave Lisa unable to bear children. This made me very sad but she states she never ever felt she would have children anyway so it doesn't bother her that much. 

During all this time I realized my cat Tigger had been out and usually her wouldn't stay out more than 20 minutes or so before he would be back at the door meowing to come back in. Especially now... it was cold and dark. He had been gone about an hour. I put my coat on and walked up and down the street calling his name. This would ususally have him running to door but still no sign. I get a little concerned because he's been an indoor cat more than an outdoor cat and there was no way he would last very long outside. I also knew that the properties that border my backyard have a wall that's 4 feet lower than mine and Tigger likes to walk along that edge. So I grab a flashlight and shimmy between fences and walk along the wall. As I walk along I am also listening hoping his meow. I point my flashlight into the darkness and I see 2 pinpoints of light in the bushes at the bottem of the brick wall. Tigger had somehow gotten down and was unable to climb back up. I'm not sure who was more relieved, him or me. I jumped down and picked him up and put him back on the higher level. He must have been desperate to get up because he hesitated long enough for me to get back up and then he headed straight back to the house. He was cold and hungry and spent the rest of the night sleeping on my lap or on the couch next to me.      

Post Thanksgiving

Jamie, Janet and Roberta at Friday night leftover turkey feast.

I can't believe I've not made an entry for 2 weeks. Quite a bit going on too.

Lisa is enjoying her new apartment. I got to visit for dinner. I am number 2 in her life now as Carmine is now staying over most weekend nights. Lisa and I had dinner Saturday night but we were both wiped out by 9 o'clock so it ended pretty early. Sunday though she came to my boat and assisted me getting the boat ready for it's winter hibernation. With her halp I can feel pretty safe that the boat will be fine for the winter.

After we finished doing that it was such a nice afternoon we decided to go to have a drink at the Soundview. We were joined by Roberta. Lisa had always felt a distance from Roberta so it was a good chance for them to connect without all the others getting involved. They both called me later and told me how much they liked the day.

And what am I doing during all this? Trying to strike up a good conversation with Sue (Bubbles). I made the mistake of confessing to Roberta how attractive I think she is so now she thinks I should be getting a phone number and calling her. The thing is I don't get a vibe from her that she even knows who I am. Another story for another day.

This is Sue

So I spoke to Lisa this morning who told me that she had Carmine over last night. After spending the afternoon with me she had more company. I mustn't let it botherr me but it kind of does. Jealousy rears it's ugly head. Maybe I bring that on to myself. I had actually been trying to no connect with Lisa and I had been doing a good job for about 2 weeks. Really just that one visit. I keep telling myself that she needs to get away from me as much as I need to get away from her.  

On Friday Jamie, Roberta, Judy, Chris and I had dinner at Janet's She made a great dinner from thanksgiving leftovers. We purposely left Mike-PC out. He has been over pursuing Roberta to the point where she feels stalked. He mentioned at Thanksgiving that he made a wrong turn on the way and drove by Roberta's house even though Roberta was with her family.He obviously didn't really make a wrong turn... just wanted to see where she lives since it's a good 5 blocks away. So after hearing that she said he just can't be a part of our dinner, which I knew anyway. I am so tired of talking about him and his freakish fetish with Roberta.

I also realized that Jamie seems to be more attracted to me that I want. Roberta hinted to me about that and I'm just hoping it doesn't turn into any more. It's kind of nice to know I could still have someone attracted to me but why does it end up being the last person I want. Maybe I'll have more on this at a later date.

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Jay Black concert

Saturday night I went to see Jay Black (Jay and the Americans). I took Roberta who was the perfect one to go with, she was boppin' with me for every song. The picture was taken at dinner earlier in the evening.

It was kind of a Roberta weekend. Friday night we went out to dinner at the twice a year wine tasting event that is at local area restaurnts. This one was at one of our regular hangouts... The Soundview. We go there so often we've been calling it "the Club" because it's situated on a public golf course. While we often go there for drinks we rarely ever eat there. So the wine tasting was a nice treat.

I had asked Roberta to go to the concert earlier in the week so I already knew we would be going but I hesitated to call it a "date" since Roberta always wants to insist on us being "just friends". It seems I'm using a lot of quotes today. So as soon as we sat down at the table with Jamie and PC Mike she immediately brought up how much she was looking forward to our first date. One of the reasons I didn't really think I should say too much is theat PC Mike has had a huge crush on Roberta and I knew he would get all twisted out of shape, which even though he tried to hide it, he did.

And it also seemed like Roberta wanted to rub his nose in it. This was because he gave her some business about how she needs to more mature. He really wants her to be his girlfriend and his ego really isn't handling the rejection so great. That's really his problem, not mine.

I am really in the same boat as PC Mike since I like Roberta a lot too. The big difference is I don't really see her liking me that way so as always I just go with the flow. In that way I sort of envy Mike that he puts it right on the line. The thing is though that he can't ever let it go.

What's really making it tough is Roberta is really fun to be with. We had such a great time. Friday niight I probably had more wine than I should have, but in a fun way. I guess I was flirting with Roberta too. She's so different that Janet that way. I jsut love to be near her and I feel like she likes me to be attentive to her. Just only in a plantonic way. If we are out in a crowd we always need to find each other. It's like we just need that spark to light the flame and we just can't. It's very similar to how it is with Lisa a lot of the time.

So Saturday I went to pick Roberta up at her house ... like a real date. I half expected her to want to meet me somewhere so she could avoid that awkward moment at her door. So it was a great surprise to have to go to her house before and pick her up. To be honest it's been quite some time since I did that. In fact, the whole evening felt like something I hadn't done in a really long time. We shared dinner and made it to the concert in plenty of time. We shared some wine and sang and clapped for all the songs we knew. I could tell she was having a great time and so was I.

The concert was over 3 hours but it felt like it was less than an hour. I was a little sad to have to end the night. But it was close to midnight when we got back near Roberta's house and she wasn't really interested in going out for a nightcap. She did ask me if I was okay to drive home... which I countered with "are you inviting me in?" She just said  "that's not happening" ... which I knew. So I pulled into her drive way and got the usual peck of a kiss and she was gone in a flash. I left happy even if the date didn't have a "happy ending". Yes... once more with the quotes.

I doesn't look like I'll ever really feel that closeness that comes from a sexual relationship but it is nice to know I can go out on a date with some one and have a good time. I hope I never lose that.