It's just me and Tigger again

No picture today. Spent much of the weekend helping Lisa move to Northport. It's amazing how quickly you get used to sharing your space with someone. Part of me is glad to have my place all to myself again but it was so nice having someone great to talk to. I'll miss having her so close to me.

Now that she is in her own place I get a sense that she will start seeing Carmine more and more. As far as I could tell he was there the entire weekend. I don't think I'll be going there as much if they are constantly together. It makes me feel real odd. Very much the fifth wheel. It also is how it should be. That little voice in my head keeps saying it's time to let it go. Lisa and Carmine are a couple and I'm just a friend. I wish I could find a reason to not like Carmine but he is the first guy in Lisa's life who is in love with her. It's hard not to respect that but I do feel a little left out. On the other hand Carmine is so quiet and laidback I'll be curious to see if Lisa really stays the distance. I wonder what they talk about.

So now I get to find out what's next. Last Saturday I joined Janet and Mike for dinner. Hated it. Janet was not interested in anything I had to say. Neither was Mike. Most of the night I felt invisable. I even said something but it just went right past them. Next week I am going to a wine tasting on Friday and a concert on Saturday. I think I'm going with Roberta although that's not definate. I will make sure by Thursday.

Meanwhile it's Monday of a very quiet week. There won't be much for me to add to this but I'll try to come up with something.

No entry yesterday

Yes - Meet the Beatles. The american album. And not the CD either. I still have a vinyl copy and a turntable. Hearing "I Want To Hold You Hand" as the first song. Which is how it should aways be.

Last night I shared a bottle of wine with Lisa. Then we had some vodka tonics. Makes me realize how bad we really are for each other. I'd probably dead or in detox in a year if we lived together. Her too. I wake up this morning ... seperate rooms again... and in the bathroom I see aspirin spilled on the floor. Lisa trying to cure a hangover at 3 a.m. At least I was asleep by 10.

I also had the craziest dream last night. I was playing softball and was in leftfield. Mike Grittani and Rich Tanner were playing too. I kept misplaying the ball then not being able to throw it. Guys running around the bases and me not being able to make a play. Woke up very frustrated. I guess it's better than the panic attacks I was getting a year ago.

Lisa wants to know what I'm typing

Lisa moved to her new apartment on Friday. She was staying with her parents but after a few days with her mom she called me and I said she should stay with me for the few days before she can move. So we have been cohabitating since last Friday. Of course she is sleeping on the pullout couch and I'm in my bed. But it's been nice having her here.

So last night we are both watching tv and I was looking at my blog and responding to some comments and she is asking me who I am writing to. Now there is a big problem if she reads this. She would probably not be surprosed by anything she reads but if she starts reading this it could change how I write. So I sort of lied and told her it was an email from an AOL pal. Now she is all curious about who that might be. I can't let her know I have a blog. She is pretty smart and she will find it.  

So it's been 4 days and I find myself looking forward to her leaving. I guess too much of anything can be bad.

Tigger and Me

Since Sylvester passed away it's just me and Tigger now. We've become inseparable when I'm home. Used to be he would try to go outside and if I let him Sylvester would have a fit and then try to fight him when he would come back inside. I would actually have to separate them until they calmed down.

Sylvester never had any interest in the world outside my door. After he passed away and I had to work from home I could set my computer outside and enjoy the outside air. Tigger would stand at the door and meow until I finally let him come out with me. He would always walk around the property and disappear for 30 minutes or so. Then reappear and stay right by me. Now he goes outside but sits just outside my back door waiting for me to come out.

I also decided he sould try the boat. We spent a weekend in September on the boat. He did fine at the dock but when I took him out for a sail he got a little sea sick. Not going to try that again until next year but I am considering trying a weekend away from the dock. It would be great if I could take a trip and he could be with me.

I took him to the vet on Saturday and he got a clean bill of health. After my last experiance at the vet I was more than a little nervous. It's good to know he is in good shape. We should have lots more time together.

Halloween

Saturday night was festive. There was a costume party and the entire group went. The pictures kind of tell the story. I went as Jonas Grumby a/k/a The Skipper from Gilligan's Island. It must have been okay as I was recognized. There were pirates everywhere. Not much originality there. Lisa tried to be Anna Nicole. She kind of pulled it off.

Lisa's guy Carmine came as a masked cowboy... maybe the Lone Ranger? There was a band and dancing but for some reason Carmine doesn't dance. Lisa says he's a little shy.

It was a fun night although Mike (Prince Charles look-alike) told Lisa not to break my heart. She told me about that on Sunday and it's the second time he's said that to her. I know he is only trying to help I wish he could mind his p's and q's. I also think I've become a topic on conversation more than I would perfer. It's the second time Mike has said something like that to Lisa and now I guess I will try to tell him to not interfere with my relationship with Lisa.

It was a crazy night. There is a picture of this girl I kind of had my eye on all night. Today I find out her name is Shannon. Did I go over and say hello on Saturday ... no. Why not? I wish I knew the answer but it's been so long since I've just walked up to someone now I've really got a defeatist attitude.

Lisa slept over

Lisa on the pull out couch. Not her best side but I do love that butt. If she ever sees this she will kill me.

She has been staying at her parents house until November 1st when she moves into her new apartment. She had a little tiff with her mom and I told her she should get some space. So she came to my place. She slept in my house but not in my bed. Still, it's fun to have her near me. Tigger seems to like her company too. We relaxed and drank some wine.

When I was away for a week in Florida visiting my dad she stayed there and watched Tigger for me. She did some much needed cleaning too. I've been having her around a lot. I hope I don't get too used to it.

Update - a who's who entry

Pictures from the beach

I may name drop a lot in this journal and rather than explain who is who in each entry I thought I would do a brief synopsis of everyone.

Lisa.Very, very complicated. I am very attached to Lisa. I really wish I could make a life with her but she refuses to let me. She seems to only like men who reject her... like married men, engaged men, men about to be engaged or men who are just plan defective. Right now she is splitting her attention with Carmine, her car mechanic and Alan, who lives in Florida. We talk to each other about everything. She calls me constantly. She went away to Arizona for a year and I thought we could gradually drift apart. It didn't happen. She would IM first thing in the morning and call me each night before bed.

   Janet (and me). We were neighbors more than 30 years ago but we were never friends until about 3 years ago. At first I really wanted to date her but I have long since gotten over that. I still think she is beautiful but there has never been any spark between us. Her mom passed away a year ago and she looked to me for comfort. We talk a lot.

Roberta. I like Roberta. Sometimes I think I see a spark of similar feelings from her. But it goes away before I can get her alone. In fact I think she has purposely avoided ever being alone with me.

Tracy. She seems to like me and initially I was attracted to her but after spending a little more time with her I realized that we could never work. And she is the type that would never get physical without some kind of declaration of love. Just don't feel it. Sorry... I can't seem to find a picture.

 Mike (a/k/a Prince Charles or P.C.) He joined our little group at the beginning of the summer. He wants to date Roberta really bad. Roberta has said he has no shot. It will be curious to see who wears down first.