Saturday, January 30, 2010

I've always got me

I am becoming convinced that I'm really just talking to the wall here. I kind of miss the old AOL blog site because it had a fairly good search engine and it had a counter of how often your blog was read. This this it's just like leaving messages in a bottle and throwing them out to sea. For how many years will it be floating around never getting to be read.

It's the middle of a lost weekend. I haven't had one of these for a while... not since I lived in Farmingdale. I remember a number of times where I would get home on a Friday and never leave the house until going back to work on Monday. It's not quite that bad now but close.

Last night I had a plan to hang after work with a friend but that got cancelled so I stopped at the liquor store and picked up some wine and enjoyed a quiet Friday night home alone. It was very different than what I had been doing. The last few weeks I had multiple things to do but now I'm dealing with a slow weekend.

So I went to bed at a reasonable time and got up early and headed for the gym. I met Lisa there ... thank God I still have at least one friend. Of course I am exaggerating but for the moment I'm feeling low so I go with that. We did the gym than after that we had a nice lunch before we called it a day at about 3.

Then I went to an open house in the co-op complex that I expect to buy a unit in before too long. I'm feeling the window of opportunity beginning to close and it's making me want to make things go faster ... but I need to realize there are so many places available I need to make a choice without getting to attached to one thing.

Now it's Saturday evening. I considered going to the bar but after Thursday I don't think I should put myself into a situation that is going to cause me more pain than I already have. Seeing Coleen and jimmy together is making me crazy. Got to stop. Is not going out the answer? Probably not but for today it seems like what I need to do.

Tomorrow will be better. It always is. Give up a little time and start recalibrating my brain. What will I do Sunday? I feel weak and alone.


cb said...

You're not talking to the wall :) I've checked a few times to see if you've updated - glad to see you finally have. I miss the AOL blogs too, for the same reasons. Anyways, thought I'd say hello and keep on working in the direction you want to go, seems to me you'll do alright!

Mikeg5162000 said...

Thanks for the comment... feels a lot better knowing people are there. I keep writing no matter what ... thing is, the more i live the less I blog.