I am becoming convinced that I'm really just talking to the wall here. I kind of miss the old AOL blog site because it had a fairly good search engine and it had a counter of how often your blog was read. This this it's just like leaving messages in a bottle and throwing them out to sea. For how many years will it be floating around never getting to be read.
It's the middle of a lost weekend. I haven't had one of these for a while... not since I lived in Farmingdale. I remember a number of times where I would get home on a Friday and never leave the house until going back to work on Monday. It's not quite that bad now but close.
Last night I had a plan to hang after work with a friend but that got cancelled so I stopped at the liquor store and picked up some wine and enjoyed a quiet Friday night home alone. It was very different than what I had been doing. The last few weeks I had multiple things to do but now I'm dealing with a slow weekend.
So I went to bed at a reasonable time and got up early and headed for the gym. I met Lisa there ... thank God I still have at least one friend. Of course I am exaggerating but for the moment I'm feeling low so I go with that. We did the gym than after that we had a nice lunch before we called it a day at about 3.
Then I went to an open house in the co-op complex that I expect to buy a unit in before too long. I'm feeling the window of opportunity beginning to close and it's making me want to make things go faster ... but I need to realize there are so many places available I need to make a choice without getting to attached to one thing.
Now it's Saturday evening. I considered going to the bar but after Thursday I don't think I should put myself into a situation that is going to cause me more pain than I already have. Seeing Coleen and jimmy together is making me crazy. Got to stop. Is not going out the answer? Probably not but for today it seems like what I need to do.
Tomorrow will be better. It always is. Give up a little time and start recalibrating my brain. What will I do Sunday? I feel weak and alone.