Here comes the weekend

I've been trying write this all day. I'm down with a cold so it's been diffecult to stay on top of things very long.

Now that Christmas is over now I can look forward to New Year's. I have quite a bit planned and being under the weather it's iffy as to whether I'll get to anything. Tonight is Friday but I think I'm staying in so I can feel better for the rest of the weekend.

Last night I went to see Lisa at her house. I was starting to feel the start of a head cold in the middle of the day and considered cancelling but we haven't seen each other in so long I felt I needed to make it. So I went even though I was very uncomfortable and really was looking forward to going home to bed. I only stayed until 9:30 and got home at 10 and went right to bed. Exciting- huh?

The rest of the weekend should be better.

Merry Christmas

This is the entire family at Christmas Eve dinner. That's me in the back row third from the left standing next to dad. It was a fun night.

I managed to get my shopping done. Barely. Then on the way home from shopping Sunday night my car engine blew. Smoke and horrible smell. I was literally 2 blocks from my door. So now I have another car. I will tell the rest of this story in a later blog.

I was unable to get together with Lisa at all. To much going on made it impossible to find a time we could stop and have our annual Christmas egg nog. I guess that really ended last year anyway.

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Getting through Christmas one day at a time.

Sorry - no new pictures today. No pictures until after Christmas. I got out with Janet and Roberta the lasy 2 evenings. Nothing big. Just doing what we always do. Drinking in a bar. Got home early too. I've been home watching tv since 8:30.

Lisa called me a while I was out. Seems like the only conversations we have occur while she is in her car driving somewhat and I have only minutes to say anything. Not really feeling the love. I guess Carmine is priority now. I mentioned this to Roberta who really tore into me. I just feel like Lisa is forcing this relationship to be more than it really is. Perhaps I'm just jealous and Roberta is right.

As long as I feel that way I am a little uncomfortable making any plans with Lisa. She's been asking about getting together before Christmas and I've been avoiding committing to anything.

I stopped at my sister's this afternoon to see me niece Katie and nephew Max who are back from being away at school in Geneseo. It seems that Kaie's boyfriend Sean broke up with her yesterday. She was crying in her room. I talked to her and maybe I made her feel better.

 

This is Katie on a better day.

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How is Lisa?

Lisa sent me some pictures from her night out with Carmine. They went into New York and saw the tree at Rockefeller Center. They are spending more and more time together so I see Lisa less and less. Even though I want to be happy for her new found love life I am still feeling a little left behind and jealous. The only consulation I have is that I am keeping busy with other friends and barely miss her. Carmine really does love Lisa. He treats her far better than any other guy she has been with before.

Last Friday Lisa asked me to delete and email address that belonged to her sister Ellen. I was a little uncomfortable doing it but I did it, no questions asked. It seems that Ellen's husband Frank was snooping into Ellen's privacy, mostly because in the past she hasn't been the faithful wife. She was having an affair with her boss where she works about 2 years ago. She got caught when Frank hacked into her email.

So my deleting her email means he is suspisciously looking at her emails again. So is she cheating again? Why else would she be hiding her emails? It's so sad how there is no trust anymore. I really want to limit my involvment.

What really scares me is Lisa's attitude is similar. I don't think she has ever really looked at her relationships as exclusive. Most of the guys she has been with have something else going on. Either a wife, a fiance, a girlfriend they live with or an ex-wife they aren't quite divorced from. And Lisa seemed to prefer that. This always worked fine for me becuase it usually left her Saturday's available to spend with me.

So that's what makes the last few weekends so unusual. She has been spending her entire weekends with Carmine. It might be the first real healthy relationship she's had since I know her. But lately I see cracks in the armour. She was chatting with me about how uncomfortable she is with someone there around the clock. She wants to have a Christmas drink and invite all her "other" friends. Mostly guys she likes. I'm curious to see how she handles the next few weeks. It's better for me if I stay away.

It's Saturday

Last night was about what I expected. Talked to everyone. Nothing much happened. Mike PC was there. Janet, Jamie and Roberta too. Stayed out too late, spent too much money and still went home alone without getting any new connections. Saw Colleen and she's obviously not as interested in me at all. She was there only for an hour or so. I bought her a drink at least. I did find out some new things though. She is divorced and once lived in Atlanta. She is back 5 years which I can only assume means that's when her marriage ended. She also has a boyfriend who she seems to like a lot. She is a smoker. She got her cigarettes out and she was going outside to smoke one when she asked me if I smoke, I said no. I almost wished I'd said yes but that's just stupid, right. I thought there went my chance for a real one-on-one conversation. But you know what... if she really liked me we would have that without me smoking. I'll just let it go. I'll just be "Mike The Friend" like I always am.

I did manage to get one good picture of Janet and Roberta

I left at the same time as Janet. But we didn't have a long goodbye... just a "c'ya tomorrow" and poof she was gone. Roberta was still there with her daughter Tara and Tara's husband Chris. I don't know what I'm doing tonight... maybe staying in.   

I also went to the boat to check on it and see the lights....

It's really hard to see the lights when they put huge spotlights on the water but at least I can tell if the power is on without opening up the boat.

Lisa .... she was in NYC with Carmine last night. She was telling about some stuff with her sister yesterday. That's going to have to be another entry.

It's Friday

Poor Tigger scratching at the door to go outside and play. But it's snowing and icy.

It's been a week from hell. I had a plan to see Janet on Thursday night. I was down to my last few dollars until I got paid on Thursday. So I thought I had it worked out pretty well. I needed gas in the car but I'd be working from home on Wednesday so I figured I had enough to make it back and forth to the train 2 times and not go anywhere on Wednesday and I could get gas on Thursday.

Everything was working out well right up until Thursday. It started to snow around 11 so at 11:30 I thought I better go and while I was out I should stop at the grocery store. Yeah ... I had no food in the house either. So I put my empty deposit bottles in the car and start it up. Then I get out and scrape the ice off the windows. It took about 5 minutes. I get in and put in gear and it stalls. Uh-oh. Yeah - that's right. No gas. I had to walk in the sleet/snow to the gas station gas and a gas can to put it in. Took a couple of hours.

Meanwhile I'm missing work and they are looking for me. So I get all that done and get back to work ... It's like 2:30. I missed a little but I managed to catch up pretty quickly. Mostly I'm concerned because now I have an unexplained absence. I'll work through that.

But it's still snowing and it's getting real icy. I have to blow off Janet because I just have no confidence that I can make it home again once I go out. I really wish I had a new car. My car is 11 years old and it's been a hard 11 years. If I had money I would for sure be getting another car.

I was really looking forward to getting out. So now it's Friday and Janet says she has a wake to go to. I guess I'll catch up with her at some point. Not that we are dating. Maybe I'll get to talk to Colleen again.

If I don't get the chance to blog tomorrow it's probably a good thing. It's means I'm living the life and not whining about it.

Sunday doings

So I spent my Saturday night with my sister's family to celebrate my nephew Charlie's 16th birthday. It was okay and not much more to add to that. So I felt like I could get out a little on Sunday. Believe it or not Roberta called me Sunday to see if I wanted to come to have a drink with her and anyone else who might show up.

It turned into a really good time. There were more peoplr out than on friday night. All i expected was to lay low at home and watch football. But wait it gets better ... first some of the pictures;

Janet drinking a beer. She never has beer. It's always white zin. But she says the kind they serve gives her a headache.

There's Roberta ... but look in the background... that's Coleen. She's really cute and I've been eyeing her since Thanksgiving. I think she likes me but guess what... there's a boyfriend. There was a big scene with him and her. I guess they are on the rocks ... or at least I hope they are. Bad bad thoughts. So I have that on my mind tonight.

I only heard from Lisa when I called her. She kind of was a no-show all weekend. I'm feeling a little like I'm being pushed to the background now that she has this great relationship. Part of me feels bad about it and another part feels like maybe it's the best thing for me. Now maybe I can actually move on. I don't expect to see her on Christmas or New Years.

I'd like to see if I can have something more with Coleen. While we had a short conversations ... maybe only the second one we had ... I felt something there. She said I had bad bed head ... which I did... but she was running her fingers through my hair. I probably shouldn't read too much into it but it really turned me on. I wonder what I should do next. I'm define going to ask her to go out - dinner? The boyfriend ... not sure how much that means. Damn - why does it always happen around the holiday and I have no money? Fuck the credit card payment.