Hey, so now I'm a once a week blogger. Oh well... so here it is. I have a need to vent and maybe it will be more negative than I should have it but so be it.
My weekend was good. I got to see Coleen and I spent a ton of time getting my boat ready. No bad things except I drank way more than I should have. But I am here on Sunday night and nothing has come of it that I'm feeling bad about. I just wish I knew I could find love that was real. At least I do feel loved somewhat. I get a call from the people I care about now and then. And I have just a little bit of validation that makes me feel like I have relevance.
I wish I could figure out Janet. On Saturday I noticed she was checking my out which it something new. Nothing earth shattering but she was asked if she wanted another drink and she looked to see if I had a full drink before she said she would have another. Just a subtle thing I noticed. It has me wondering.
Okay and then there is Lisa. God, I really love Lisa, but she has a man she seems to be making a life with. And then we have this very odd conversation about how she isn't getting what she wants from that whole thing. I get a sense she doesn't want me to get involved so I let it go as that.
So my day was all about polishing the boat and I still have more to do. But it feels good to make that go. It will be warm soon and my boat should be my focal point of how my life will be. That and my new place. My May will be really loaded with things to do. Boat, apartment, life ... it is all happening at once. I sometimes thing I have everything lining up in my favor. Tomorrow is another day.