Thursday, March 9, 2006

Facing my life a little each day

Plans get made. Thank God I have friends. Losing my closest friend has left me scared but also reassured that I am not alone. All my friends have been there for me and I cannot say enough for how that makes me feel.

I have not been intimate with someone in so long it barely even in my memory, but the people that I call friends are all so caring I should never feel unloved. Especially Lisa. She held me while I cried, calls me almost every day or emails me just to make sure I'm good. I know this will be temporary but it makes me fall more and more in love with her . I can't see how I will ever have a love for someone else like I feel about her. When my life ends and flashes before my eyes she will be the star.

I'm also getting a little closer to Janet all the time. She has been including me in her plans and we are in contact most every day. When I've called her the last few weeks we talk much longer than I would expect. I want to tell her how much I'm attracted to her but I can't seem to find the words. My heart is telling me something that my head says it can never have.

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