Maybe not such a lost weekend after all

I was feeling better so at areounf 3:30 I headed out the door and made it into the bar to watch football. I got there and of course Jami and Chris are ther and Linnie was behind the bar. I thought I would just have a beer or two and go home for dinner.

I was actually enjoying the game when just before halftime in strolls Coleen. (With one "l" ... before I thought it was with 2). So she says hello to everyone before she noticed me there. She gave me a nice hello and mentioned to me how I'd been missed while I was home sick the last 2 days. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and wished me Merry Christmas. So we talked and somehow we exchanged phone numbers. But then she mentions how my wife would be upset if she called ... I'm answering "wife? what wide? I'm divorced longer than you are." She somehow thought I might be married and was just feeling me out. Somehow from there we were playing with text messaging on our cell phones when suddenly she said she needed to go. And out the door she went.

Obviously I'm trying to make more of this than there is. If something happens I'll be as shocked as anyone. Still she must know I'm interested by now. Still the best advice I've gotten is to just come right out and say how I feel.

To be continued.....

A lost weekend

Been home the entire weekend. I've been dealing with a cold for the second time this month. I missed drinks with Lisa and some our mutual friends ... okay so they are really her friends but I know most of them. Then last night we postponed the Christmas dinner with Janet and Roberta and others. Roberta is just as sick as I am. So now I don't when that will happen.

So my entire weekend has been spent inside. That's pretty much been my Christmas season. Mostly spent by myself. No parties, barely making it out into the world for anything. I feel so old. Like I'm done. I just hope it's just a temporary thing. That I will soon have better days. At least I know most of my friends seem to miss me. I just hope I can have a little fun on New Years Eve. If I don't feel better I may just skip that too.

I also missed out on seeing my parents before they left for Florida on Saturday morning. I was afraid to see dad with a cold. I wouldn't want to take a chance on him coming down with anything. He suffers from emphyzema and a mere sniff of a cold puts him in an oxygen tent in ICU. So I stayed in.

So I'm watching Sideways on TV. There is a moment in that movie where they all have a picnic with wine at sunset. Brings me to my boat when I've had a few moments close to that. The only thing really missing is the falling in love part.

Here comes the weekend

I've been trying write this all day. I'm down with a cold so it's been diffecult to stay on top of things very long.

Now that Christmas is over now I can look forward to New Year's. I have quite a bit planned and being under the weather it's iffy as to whether I'll get to anything. Tonight is Friday but I think I'm staying in so I can feel better for the rest of the weekend.

Last night I went to see Lisa at her house. I was starting to feel the start of a head cold in the middle of the day and considered cancelling but we haven't seen each other in so long I felt I needed to make it. So I went even though I was very uncomfortable and really was looking forward to going home to bed. I only stayed until 9:30 and got home at 10 and went right to bed. Exciting- huh?

The rest of the weekend should be better.

Merry Christmas

This is the entire family at Christmas Eve dinner. That's me in the back row third from the left standing next to dad. It was a fun night.

I managed to get my shopping done. Barely. Then on the way home from shopping Sunday night my car engine blew. Smoke and horrible smell. I was literally 2 blocks from my door. So now I have another car. I will tell the rest of this story in a later blog.

I was unable to get together with Lisa at all. To much going on made it impossible to find a time we could stop and have our annual Christmas egg nog. I guess that really ended last year anyway.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Getting through Christmas one day at a time.

Sorry - no new pictures today. No pictures until after Christmas. I got out with Janet and Roberta the lasy 2 evenings. Nothing big. Just doing what we always do. Drinking in a bar. Got home early too. I've been home watching tv since 8:30.

Lisa called me a while I was out. Seems like the only conversations we have occur while she is in her car driving somewhat and I have only minutes to say anything. Not really feeling the love. I guess Carmine is priority now. I mentioned this to Roberta who really tore into me. I just feel like Lisa is forcing this relationship to be more than it really is. Perhaps I'm just jealous and Roberta is right.

As long as I feel that way I am a little uncomfortable making any plans with Lisa. She's been asking about getting together before Christmas and I've been avoiding committing to anything.

I stopped at my sister's this afternoon to see me niece Katie and nephew Max who are back from being away at school in Geneseo. It seems that Kaie's boyfriend Sean broke up with her yesterday. She was crying in her room. I talked to her and maybe I made her feel better.

 

This is Katie on a better day.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

How is Lisa?

Lisa sent me some pictures from her night out with Carmine. They went into New York and saw the tree at Rockefeller Center. They are spending more and more time together so I see Lisa less and less. Even though I want to be happy for her new found love life I am still feeling a little left behind and jealous. The only consulation I have is that I am keeping busy with other friends and barely miss her. Carmine really does love Lisa. He treats her far better than any other guy she has been with before.

Last Friday Lisa asked me to delete and email address that belonged to her sister Ellen. I was a little uncomfortable doing it but I did it, no questions asked. It seems that Ellen's husband Frank was snooping into Ellen's privacy, mostly because in the past she hasn't been the faithful wife. She was having an affair with her boss where she works about 2 years ago. She got caught when Frank hacked into her email.

So my deleting her email means he is suspisciously looking at her emails again. So is she cheating again? Why else would she be hiding her emails? It's so sad how there is no trust anymore. I really want to limit my involvment.

What really scares me is Lisa's attitude is similar. I don't think she has ever really looked at her relationships as exclusive. Most of the guys she has been with have something else going on. Either a wife, a fiance, a girlfriend they live with or an ex-wife they aren't quite divorced from. And Lisa seemed to prefer that. This always worked fine for me becuase it usually left her Saturday's available to spend with me.

So that's what makes the last few weekends so unusual. She has been spending her entire weekends with Carmine. It might be the first real healthy relationship she's had since I know her. But lately I see cracks in the armour. She was chatting with me about how uncomfortable she is with someone there around the clock. She wants to have a Christmas drink and invite all her "other" friends. Mostly guys she likes. I'm curious to see how she handles the next few weeks. It's better for me if I stay away.

It's Saturday

Last night was about what I expected. Talked to everyone. Nothing much happened. Mike PC was there. Janet, Jamie and Roberta too. Stayed out too late, spent too much money and still went home alone without getting any new connections. Saw Colleen and she's obviously not as interested in me at all. She was there only for an hour or so. I bought her a drink at least. I did find out some new things though. She is divorced and once lived in Atlanta. She is back 5 years which I can only assume means that's when her marriage ended. She also has a boyfriend who she seems to like a lot. She is a smoker. She got her cigarettes out and she was going outside to smoke one when she asked me if I smoke, I said no. I almost wished I'd said yes but that's just stupid, right. I thought there went my chance for a real one-on-one conversation. But you know what... if she really liked me we would have that without me smoking. I'll just let it go. I'll just be "Mike The Friend" like I always am.

I did manage to get one good picture of Janet and Roberta

I left at the same time as Janet. But we didn't have a long goodbye... just a "c'ya tomorrow" and poof she was gone. Roberta was still there with her daughter Tara and Tara's husband Chris. I don't know what I'm doing tonight... maybe staying in.   

I also went to the boat to check on it and see the lights....

It's really hard to see the lights when they put huge spotlights on the water but at least I can tell if the power is on without opening up the boat.

Lisa .... she was in NYC with Carmine last night. She was telling about some stuff with her sister yesterday. That's going to have to be another entry.