I can't believe how alone I feel

Been at this blog thing for months and the only thing that's changed is I can write a little better. My status hasn't changed with any one. A quick review.

Lisa and I had one all too brief moment. After that she stayed away from me for 10 days and was more than a little freaked out for over a month. Eventually we settled back into our regular routine. I'll probably never get up the nerve to seduce her again. I'll never stop wanting her.

Janet has repeated to me her desire to stay friends and although I see her more and more there has never been even a hint of romance between us. When I started this journal I hadn't seen her for months and I was amazed how I saw more of her as time went on. She was including me in so much of her life. Her kids seem to like me when I'm around. But our routine has pretty much settled in to being friends and when I've tried to talk about it I either stumble and fall of she bolts.

Tracy was a possibility but thing stalled when she had her knee operated on and there were complications that have kept us apart since then. I've been warned by my friend Joe that Tracy is more nuerotic than most I would be best served keeping my distance. I do think she is fun but so far I've taken his advice.

Carolyn is probably the only one I was actually close to have a sex with since I started this. She seemed to be very attracted to me and we were getting very touchy feely the one time I was on the boat with her. Her revealing that she in fact wasn't seperated but still married was a deal breaker so I stopped before things got too complex. I see her just wanting a fling. I'll see what happens in the Spring. Maybe she will have changed her situation.

Ami is someone who I really like but my shyness has definately kept me from doing anything. That and money. I am so attracted to her and I felt her checking me out a little when we last went for drinks with Steve and his friends. I told Steve I liked her and he told me she is involved with someone so I never called. I wonder if he just doesn't want me to see her for some reason. He always comes on very strong to her even though it's harmless fun. I don't feel confident enough to call her even though I have her number.